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Trelawny League Results - 15th May


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Guest BenTheYeti

Division 2

St Ives Reserves 4 - 1 Culdrose Reserves

Ginger Berbatov with his first hat trick for the Saints, match report later

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Guest BenTheYeti

Report Ben?? Btw thanks for the gloves!

I must gather my thoughts and conjure up something useful!! Close game again though Ivan.. Couldn't get your lad any gloves until it was 1-1.. so he'd probably have done better staying bare handed!

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Guest BenTheYeti

Division 2

St Ives Reserves 4 - 1 RNAS Culdrose Reserves

After most of Cornwall tried and failed to play weather in the Bermuda Triangle on Tuesday night, it was to be expected that Wednesday bore glorious conditions down at The Saltings, with the pitch in remarkably good shape considering the battering it had taken the night before.
As always with midweek games, Dagger's was playing text message roulette trying to find a balanced squad. Luckily, "Hugo" Lorys had recovered from his somersault, Chris "Justin Bieber" Holgate had returned from his World Tour of Sunderland, and the OAP had escaped the retirement home for the evening.
Culdrose, still in the midst of a fixture pile up like a crash on the A30, were struggling a bit too, with their keeper dropping out at short notice, so (as I was told) "a random midfielder" braved going in goal without any gloves.
The game started in brisk fashion, and much like the repeat fixture last Thursday, it settled down into an even midfield battle, with St Ives looking to work it out wide to the Olympic sprinters at our disposal, and Culdrose ploughing through the middle, with the Number 7 (Mackie?) twisting and turning like a blonde Suarez.
The first real attack by either team, led to the first goal.. well.. sort of..
After some neat interplay in the middle, the ball was played along the moguls into the path of Alex Brown (who covered more ground than Haile Gebrselassie throughout the 90 minutes), who promptly burst away from the Culdrose defence, around the keeper, and from a tightish angle, rolled the ball just inside the far post. However, the Culdrose linesman and the referee were no match for Alex's pace, and neither of them saw the ball hit the net, and the keeper calmly walked over and picked it out.. no goal!
Whilst we were still rather miffed by this, the Airmen started to come into the game much more, and created two good chances, with the lad Mackie twisting his way past Noah Tanner and Andrew Chard, but only being able to fire tamely at the Yeti when clean through, and two free men in the box getting in each others way from a cross, and again, the header was nice and tame for me to collect.
From my punt downfield, we got the opening goal. A throw in was conceded from said punt, and after good work by the OAP, Lorys and Ellis Deaves, the latter found time and space on a marauding run from right back, and fired in an excellent cross. The initial ball was well defended by a Culdrose head, but the ball was falling towards the Ginger Berbatov. Normally in such circumstances, I'm sure he'd take 13 touches and try and go past 4 men, but it was still too early in the game for him to be running that much. Instead, he waited as the ball fell from the sky with snow on it, before unleashing a ferocious, first time volley that arched perfectly into the corner of the net.. he almost even smiled.
Whilst we were all still marvelling at the strike, I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to add to my repertoire of howlers, gifting Culdrose an equaliser.
When a long ball forward had found Andre The Giant up front (apparently the lad is only 19?! Made me look like a Smurf..), the ball was worked wide, and a low cross was fizzed in, albeit into the path of a flock of St Ives defenders. A bellowing shout of "Keepers" soon cleared them out the way, and then I turned to stone in waiting for the ball to come to me rather than the other way round, and a Culdrose player calmly stepped in front of me and walked the ball home.. 1-1
This seemingly had a knock on affect to all 10 in grey shirts, as we were unable to pass the ball to each other for 5 minutes, and duly nearly conceded a second when Nathan "Chicken" Bassett was caught in possession near the edge of his area. Instead of crossing, the Culdrose winger opted to fire in a shot towards the top corner, and I luckily partially redeemed myself by tipping over the bar.
With the half drawing to a close, and the Culdrose goalkeeper now fully gloved up, he failed to realise we'd given him gloves made of Paper Maché, as we promptly went 2-1 up.
The OAP was to the fore as usual, bursting forward and firing in a low cross-shot. It proved too hot to handle for the goalie, and the ball escaped his grasp. Alarmingly, as he'd been pushed back into central midfield to cover a head injury, the Ginger Berbatov was still the first body on the scene and tucked away the rebound.

HT 2-1
After a dressing down like a teacher telling off a class of naughty school children (to be fair, most of them are), we shuffled out of the changing room with renewed purpose to finish the game off. For the first 10 minutes however, what we had in our heads, didn't match what we could do with our feet, as Culdrose had two good chances to equalise, again from the feet of the increasingly skillful Mackie.
A good move down the Culdrose right, led to a couple of one touch passes and in a flash, he was in the box and bearing down on the Yeti. Thankfully, he took it first time and although beat me, also glanced the side netting with his effort. In almost a reverse of this chance, he was again played in from the left channel, but once again elected to shoot early and the outcome was a slightly wider effort.
We finally got our act together, and as the men in blue understandably started to tire, the chances for those in grey started to come. Chicken and Justin Bieber were linking up particularly well down the left (with the latter producing one of his dance moves right in the centre circle to leave 3 Culdrose midfielders going completely the wrong way), the OAP had taken some Pro Plus to keep him awake past his bed time, and Alex Brown was still running around like he was in the Pamplona Bull Race.
These two were to combine for the third and killer goal. A loose clearance by a Culdrose defender fell to GB himself, and he took a touch before releasing the OAP on one of his usual rocket-booster fuelled runs into the area. His usual excellent delivery followed, and a usual flashing close range finish from Alex Brown brought the goal.
Culdrose as is to be expected kept battling hard and searching for a goal to bring them back into the game, but apart from one cross that just evaded the man flying in at the far post (who was lucky to evade the post himself..), the St Ives back four were controlling the game well, and with the game drawing to a close, it was left to that man to finish the scoring off and hit his hat trick.
A few substitutions had led to him being pushed back up top, and as the ball came to him near the area, he shuffled past a defender before sending the ball out wide to the OAP to do what he does best.. to summarise.. burst of pace.. low cross.. back post.. goal.

Good game considering we'd shuffled the pack a bit in light of recent excursions and the games to come in the next week. Once again, massive credit to the lads at Culdrose for turning out for all these fixtures and no doubt giving everyone a very good, fairly and hard fought game.

Thought the referee, apart from his early mistake of missing a goal, was excellent throughout and communicated well with all involved.

Two games to go for us, and both important fixtures in the grand scheme of things..

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Division 2

St Ives Reserves 4 - 1 RNAS Culdrose Reserves

After most of Cornwall tried and failed to play weather in the Bermuda Triangle on Tuesday night, it was to be expected that Wednesday bore glorious conditions down at The Saltings, with the pitch in remarkably good shape considering the battering it had taken the night before.

As always with midweek games, Dagger's was playing text message roulette trying to find a balanced squad. Luckily, "Hugo" Lorys had recovered from his somersault, Chris "Justin Bieber" Holgate had returned from his World Tour of Sunderland, and the OAP had escaped the retirement home for the evening.

Culdrose, still in the midst of a fixture pile up like a crash on the A30, were struggling a bit too, with their keeper dropping out at short notice, so (as I was told) "a random midfielder" braved going in goal without any gloves.

The game started in brisk fashion, and much like the repeat fixture last Thursday, it settled down into an even midfield battle, with St Ives looking to work it out wide to the Olympic sprinters at our disposal, and Culdrose ploughing through the middle, with the Number 7 (Mackie?) twisting and turning like a blonde Suarez.

The first real attack by either team, led to the first goal.. well.. sort of..

After some neat interplay in the middle, the ball was played along the moguls into the path of Alex Brown (who covered more ground than Haile Gebrselassie throughout the 90 minutes), who promptly burst away from the Culdrose defence, around the keeper, and from a tightish angle, rolled the ball just inside the far post. However, the Culdrose linesman and the referee were no match for Alex's pace, and neither of them saw the ball hit the net, and the keeper calmly walked over and picked it out.. no goal!

Whilst we were still rather miffed by this, the Airmen started to come into the game much more, and created two good chances, with the lad Mackie twisting his way past Noah Tanner and Andrew Chard, but only being able to fire tamely at the Yeti when clean through, and two free men in the box getting in each others way from a cross, and again, the header was nice and tame for me to collect.

From my punt downfield, we got the opening goal. A throw in was conceded from said punt, and after good work by the OAP, Lorys and Ellis Deaves, the latter found time and space on a marauding run from right back, and fired in an excellent cross. The initial ball was well defended by a Culdrose head, but the ball was falling towards the Ginger Berbatov. Normally in such circumstances, I'm sure he'd take 13 touches and try and go past 4 men, but it was still too early in the game for him to be running that much. Instead, he waited as the ball fell from the sky with snow on it, before unleashing a ferocious, first time volley that arched perfectly into the corner of the net.. he almost even smiled.

Whilst we were all still marvelling at the strike, I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to add to my repertoire of howlers, gifting Culdrose an equaliser.

When a long ball forward had found Andre The Giant up front (apparently the lad is only 19?! Made me look like a Smurf..), the ball was worked wide, and a low cross was fizzed in, albeit into the path of a flock of St Ives defenders. A bellowing shout of "Keepers" soon cleared them out the way, and then I turned to stone in waiting for the ball to come to me rather than the other way round, and a Culdrose player calmly stepped in front of me and walked the ball home.. 1-1

This seemingly had a knock on affect to all 10 in grey shirts, as we were unable to pass the ball to each other for 5 minutes, and duly nearly conceded a second when Nathan "Chicken" Bassett was caught in possession near the edge of his area. Instead of crossing, the Culdrose winger opted to fire in a shot towards the top corner, and I luckily partially redeemed myself by tipping over the bar.

With the half drawing to a close, and the Culdrose goalkeeper now fully gloved up, he failed to realise we'd given him gloves made of Paper Maché, as we promptly went 2-1 up.

The OAP was to the fore as usual, bursting forward and firing in a low cross-shot. It proved too hot to handle for the goalie, and the ball escaped his grasp. Alarmingly, as he'd been pushed back into central midfield to cover a head injury, the Ginger Berbatov was still the first body on the scene and tucked away the rebound.

HT 2-1

After a dressing down like a teacher telling off a class of naughty school children (to be fair, most of them are), we shuffled out of the changing room with renewed purpose to finish the game off. For the first 10 minutes however, what we had in our heads, didn't match what we could do with our feet, as Culdrose had two good chances to equalise, again from the feet of the increasingly skillful Mackie.

A good move down the Culdrose right, led to a couple of one touch passes and in a flash, he was in the box and bearing down on the Yeti. Thankfully, he took it first time and although beat me, also glanced the side netting with his effort. In almost a reverse of this chance, he was again played in from the left channel, but once again elected to shoot early and the outcome was a slightly wider effort.

We finally got our act together, and as the men in blue understandably started to tire, the chances for those in grey started to come. Chicken and Justin Bieber were linking up particularly well down the left (with the latter producing one of his dance moves right in the centre circle to leave 3 Culdrose midfielders going completely the wrong way), the OAP had taken some Pro Plus to keep him awake past his bed time, and Alex Brown was still running around like he was in the Pamplona Bull Race.

These two were to combine for the third and killer goal. A loose clearance by a Culdrose defender fell to GB himself, and he took a touch before releasing the OAP on one of his usual rocket-booster fuelled runs into the area. His usual excellent delivery followed, and a usual flashing close range finish from Alex Brown brought the goal.

Culdrose as is to be expected kept battling hard and searching for a goal to bring them back into the game, but apart from one cross that just evaded the man flying in at the far post (who was lucky to evade the post himself..), the St Ives back four were controlling the game well, and with the game drawing to a close, it was left to that man to finish the scoring off and hit his hat trick.

A few substitutions had led to him being pushed back up top, and as the ball came to him near the area, he shuffled past a defender before sending the ball out wide to the OAP to do what he does best.. to summarise.. burst of pace.. low cross.. back post.. goal.

Good game considering we'd shuffled the pack a bit in light of recent excursions and the games to come in the next week. Once again, massive credit to the lads at Culdrose for turning out for all these fixtures and no doubt giving everyone a very good, fairly and hard fought game.

Thought the referee, apart from his early mistake of missing a goal, was excellent throughout and communicated well with all involved.

Two games to go for us, and both important fixtures in the grand scheme of things..

i must say yeti you can give j k rowling a run for her money

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