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Death, Destruction anjd Dugouts


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First they sent me Matt Harris. Not content with destroying two of my three bathrooms and building grandstands that fall down all over the place, now I'm told that if I don't get out of the St Just dugout I will be on an F.A.charge. It's not fair. It was raining and I am very proud of my hair, just like Pauline Prescott. I have now decided to grow it in the style of an Old Testament prophet. I've only been abusive twice this season. I had to go in the Holmans dugout and do a spot of debt collection. I didn't even know Fraser Cadman had a heart, but he was definitely bleeding. And then I transported Holmans players back to Camborne, drunk, obviously. One of them even tried to urinate on the back of my car, but his aim was about as good as their view of goal had been all afternoon.

What do the English F.A. think they are doing ? How dare they proscribe who can and can't go into a dugout in St Just. This is St Just, not bloody England. If it hadn't been for my mental obsession, St Just would never have got round to dugouts. I am going to put up a tent on top of it for Mother and me now and call it an Executive Box instead.

John Roberts, I blame you for this. And for Rolo's problem with the worms. My daughter has made a rubber effigy of you for the Woad Brotherhood and there is a Burning coming up. You're toast.

Are there plans for any Executive Boxes at Grouter Park ? And who is tiling the bathrooms ?

:yahoo: tooo-wun,toowoo-wun,twowoo-wunn..... :yahoo: :drink:

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I knew I should have smelt a rat when everybody got paid in Liverpool European Cup tickets and the door to our bar fell over. Mind you, we do get terrible wind down St Just. It's the pasty beef. Apparently Matt has now put up one of those Government Eco-Towns by the side of Grouter Park, it's that built up ! He got Nicky Richards in to tile my bathrooms in the end. It took a while. Matt was off in the meantime rebuilding Barncoose Hospital, the wing for the psycho-geriatrics, that is. Apparently he taught most of the other Camborne builders everything they know: I expect he'll end up a carpentry professor. I shouldn't be surprised if I end up in there myself. I've been to visit. I thought the bathroom tiles over there were okay, Nicky Richards dun a good job.

Troon will be in Combo next year, you can't knock that !

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