Jump to content
Cornwall Football Forum

isaac rosenberg

  • Posts

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


Everything posted by isaac rosenberg

  1. John Roberts still breathing, then ? Golls ! What time's the stage coach with the square wheels arriving from Godolphin Cross ? I am still waiting for my Xmas card.
  2. Delighted to arrive just in time to watch the Galacticos at Constantine Stadium, where their impressive Ultras were in fine voice in front of their gazebo. They were a cosmopolitan bunch. One had been taken all the way to Penryn in childhood to look for a pair of matching pram rattles and another had once been found, catatonic, under a hedge in Brill. Their Jurgen Klopp opened with a professional inquiry about the configuration of St Just noses and it was cordially explained to him that his own head must look like that on account of his being born in a bucket. Though this was like an away Trelawney Super League tie, The Tinners felt at home, as there was a howling gale blowing in inconsistent diagonals up the mountainside, pouring lungfuls of drizzle. Strategically deploying their third generation goalkeeper, Goat Wallis, to boot the ball as high as possible towards a distant corner flag, enabling the wind to carry the play to the Galacticos' six yard box, they bypassed the subtle Constantine tiki-taka developed under Mr Buckethead's management. The doughty Galacticos, including the one who once drove a van to Bickland Park to deliver beer, responded very physically. St Just tend not to mind this. The St Just defence, with an average height of seven foot two, dug in manfully. In midfield, young Captain Sturgeon bumped his head against a team mate and was carried to his mother's Director's Chair. He said concussion was for Women. He knows what he's doing. He got A level History at Penwith College and can change tyres. "How many fingers?", they asked him. "As many as possible, please," he politely responded. On 23 minutes, desperate Galacticos headbutting St Just ankles created a free kick opportunity 23 yards from goal. Jack Willis, high priest of the Rabona, scion of the designer clothing brand that is worn all over Pendeen, imperiously curved his right-foot banana round the hapless Constantine wall, avoiding the church tower to plant the ball, with Beckhamesque precision, in the top right hand corner of the net. Mr Buckethead looked somewhat nonplussed, but his International Brigade rallied, endangering the conservatory of the bungalow behind Goat's goal and using the dips in the Constantine pitch like shell-holes from which to emerge unexpectedly. Goat and the pylon centre halves heroically kept them at bay. Being Sennen fishermen, one of whom, Mr George, is a television celebrity, a pre-match discussion with me about the follies of Brexit had been ideal preparation. Two great saves were followed by a titanic clearance to the corner flag, where three Constantine defenders bounced off Big Nick and rolled down the cliff at the lower edge of the pitch. Subtly evading the onrolling keeper, Big Nick set up Jack Willis for a near post header and 2-nil. "Our keeper's got no hands," explained the Stine lino to the sympathetic St Just supporters. "He's got no feet either." Up on the gazebo, the Galactico fans were cracking open cans of consoling beer, but their pre-purchased champagne (Bollocker, Fizz de Fizz, Penryn Asda, £5.99), not yet... Old Mr Sturgeon counselled wisdom and restraint in the face of outrageous provocation in his half-time homily, delivered in a wooden shed without any walls. This was where St Just had to change because of Covid-19, in case of infecting the socially-distanced, masked hordes in the Galactico Gazebo. Very sensible. On the hour, after superb midfield sagacity from Scott Meagor, who could be mistaken for Pirlo if he were six inches shorter, fifteen years older, and Italian; and from Stuart Nicholls (I can't see anything wrong with his nose and he is the best electrician in Tregeseal), Jack Willis advanced on two covering, cowering galacticos, feinted right and dipped another unstoppable, curling half-volley just underneath the bar. So many jaws dropped at once in the wooden gazebo that it sounded like axes felling a forest. There was still time for the elfin Tinners star of decades, Neil Curnow, to change the pace of the game as a substitute for the last ten minutes. He now wears Number 20 instead of Number 10 because his contribution to the game has doubled. Masterly holding of the ball by the corner flags and interplay with Ashley Ellis, who had directed operations in the hole (there were several holes), reminded me of his contributions to the momentous Combination Cup final triumphs over Falmouth Town in 2004 and 2005. The Galacticos bravely rallied and scored a late penalty, awarded out of sympathy. They tried to imitate Goat's long kicks to the corner flag, but that is difficult, as previously explained, when their keeper has no hands or feet. St Just danced and sang at the final whistle. This is a sight of great aesthetic beauty and artistry, rivalled only by Diaghilev, Nijinsky, Astaire and Rogers at their peak. It is the first time the Tinners first team has won a league (trophy?...well, where were the league officers?) since the season following my birth in July 1959. Weeelll, we would have won it last year...wouldn't we, CTB ? Ubnbeaten in a league match for two seasons, not bad ! So glad to have turned down the opportunity to see FGR secure a play off spot at Oldham in favour of a 400 mile round trip to watch this exhibition of all that is finest in Cornish football overcoming fancy tactics devised in the rest of the world. Commiserations to the Galacticos. Thanks to Constantine for being lovely hosts (honest !) and good luck for next season...look forward to further trips to the Stine Shrine ! Tickets for St Just's celebratory festival, including a trumpet band, can be obtained directly from me. It will be taking place on the tarmac outside the turnstiles of Penlee Park and will go on all summer. TINNERS FOREVER !
  3. Thanks, Arsene ! I will set out, then. If anything changes, I would appreciate a text from anybody on 07833 770117 !
  4. Is the game at Constantine likely to be on today ? I am about to leave on a 400 mile round trip for no reason except to watch it ? Would quite appreciate a quick message from someone who knows, telling me whether it is happening, before 9.30. 🙏
  5. Some of those Magpies have done more than enough mating already without molesting the young people of St Just, Keith ! I understand perfectly, CTB ! Retail ! No wonder the service in Penzance's emporia is so often a mumbling shambles ! Furthermore, no responsible parent would leave vulnerable children with you lot every Saturday, hearing that terrible language ! Taking their kids away on holiday ? More like obtaining a Place of Safety Order !
  6. Thank you, friends, for your kind concern. Heart not so bad, since my stent was fitted. I am indeed Bonkers for world socialism and the Tinners. This is the natural inheritance of my Methodist upbringing in St Just (this atheist still sends money to the Chapel !) overlaid by a few years reading a bit. I don't think anybody has seen me drink more than three pints of beer since 1982 and there is no alcohol in my house. The great William Cobbett referred to tea as "slop-kettle" and I never touch the stuff, Keith, so it'll have to be decaffeinated coffee, I'm afraid, which is my only vice except supporting underdogs and revolutions on principle and swearing at 24-hour newsreaders. Alternatively, I enjoy a nice glass of water. Despite John Mead, whose heart is also in the right place, the attitude of Penzance FC to clubs and local players in their hinterland has, for decades, been exploitative, patronising and short-term. During several decades in which they have enjoyed no success themselves; almost gone under; and leaked increasingly risible stories of imminent, glorious resurrection under wealthy blow-ins, they have traduced their history as the strong and well-appointed club that once could field the likes of Tony Kellow and Terence Williams. Once upon a time, they could at least claim, when tapping up the cream of local football talent, that young players joining them might learn and advance their football, even if their brown envelopes got lost in the post while they were sitting on the bench watching Plymouthians. Now? Look at them. "The lone and level sands stretch far away." (Shelley, "Ozymandias", line 14). Yet still those dysfunctional Magpies tap, tap, tap, like woodpeckers with St Vitus' Dance.
  7. I think hatred is an overstatement. However, ths antipathetic relationship is historical and political. Its roots lie in decisions affecting the tin mining industry and location of the railway terminus. In my lifetime, some planning decisions turned up the resentment. The late Dave Wadd did not exactly help go allay it. The performance and profile of Penzance, not only in football but in every other regard, over the last forty years, contrasts with the improvement of more attractive parts of Penwith. It calls into question the arrogant presumption that Penzance exemplifies seniority or regional capital status. The welcome given to our Spanish ancestors in St Just after they had burned Penzance tells you all you need to know. Thus isn't hatred. It is in the blood. It is political determinism and payback.
  8. Because Penzance are throwing the game to make sure St Just are not handed the league title ! Like I said last week when two Penzance players made a three goal difference to our result at Praze, Well done, Penzance. Pursuing your club agenda, number one. "Try to screw up St Just." Can't think of anything more motivating for the Tinners. Thanks, CTB.
  9. I do like a good slide, Rappo. Reminds me of the trajectory of Penzance AFC, year after year. I hear Neil Tregarthen has taken all the interest out of Cornish cricket. I'm surprised the Magpies haven't invited him to take them over as well. What's that ? They already have ? He said no ?
  10. It was a delight to come down to watch this one, much more entertaining than some of the Premier League. I'm sorry to hear that the easterly wind opens floodgates for you, Arsene, but once we are at a certain age, better out than in. I had never been to Nancegollan Stadium before, where you have to lurk behind a climbing frame to have any chance of getting your balls returned, but the St Just Ultras were in good voice and the Penzance linesman was very entertaining. Wonderful to see the great Jowan May, 27 goal hero of St Just's 2004 and 2005 Combination Cup winning seasons, still in fine form. Falmouth Town didn't frighten the Tinners then and they won't next week. Dunno what the new league structure is, but I hope you get promoted too. Mind you, we will miss Penzance terribly, till their first team make that inevitable journey to join us back in the Combo. Is Constantine's pitch also in a public park or is it enclosed ? If the latter, can one see over the hedge ? I shall be masked up or possibly in full PPE; I look better that way.I am thinking of a 400 mile two-way trip on Saturday. If necessary, I shall bring a step-ladder.
  11. Sorry to hear about your best players missing, CTB. One was in centre-mid for Praze and scored their goal; another was running the line for Praze and disallowed two St Just goals. I suppose they achieved more in terms of your Club Objectives, otherwise known as "Try to screw up St Just." Well done to them !
  12. Keith, thanks for your concern. In 1977, I started my first degree at Lincoln Collgee, Oxford. It was in Law. Though I redirected my studies later towards literature, political activity, theology and pedagogy, having found, as Christopher Marlowe's Faustus contends, that the study of Law was best suited to a "mercenary drudge" who valued only "external trash", I managed a rudimentary grasp of civil, criminal, contract, tort, constitutional and even Roman legislation sufficiently to pass a fair few exams. No need to worry on my legal account. My record in matters of litigation is quietly competent. I keep a very good old college friend on a retainer in case I need representation, though I have represented myself in court and won every time. No need for you to worry about such things, m8, though I appreciate your kind concern.
  13. Prosecuted for what ? Treason? Telling the truth about the bull**** Bagehot saw as necessary "to excite the reverence of the common people"? Keith, you couldn't illustrate my point about the threat to free speech for me more effectively! Thank you. CTB, I think you know I am a Corbynista. I won't follow in the elephantine footsteps of your braying-tabloid wit. Please accept my pity and compassion with good grace. I know you need it.
  14. Thank you, my friends, for your well-meant advice. Keith, of whom do you think I should be careful ? We live in a place and time in which the principle of free expression is under dire threat and I think it is increasingly important to have the courage to express dissenting ideas. My "detestation" of the hereditary proponents of undeserved privilege is entirely political, despite my colourful language. I think it is my moral duty not to hide it. I would, incidentally, stick up vehemently for your right to be a Conservative Christian, a Brexiteer or even a Penzance supporter, should such wrongheadedness possess you. There is too much suppression of opinion already. At the moment, even the political party I have been a candidate for is engaged in a demeaning race to the lowest common denominators of flag-waving, mindless nationalism, even though the effects of that, within the next three years, will lead us to isolated economic ruin. It has also done nothing to defend one of my fellow teachers in Batley, fearing loss of support from a religious lobby. Most pathetically, I have received recent correspondence from my party that refers to your dead Duke with bootlicking ingratiation. This is not the right way to rebuild a red wall. I belong to a more robust socialist tradition. For me, monarchy is one of the institutions that Trotsky's idea of permanent revolution was intended to remove. More emotionally, as a proud St Juster, I need no English king or duke. "Men (and women) of Cornwall, wherefore plough For the lords who lay ye low ?" (PB Shelley, with slight amendment).
  15. Sorry to disagree, I know it's not like me! I would understand the postponement of football as a gesture of respect to someone who had contributed enormously to the game in Cornwall. I will refrain from detailed comment about the 99 year deer-hunter, arch-conservative and racist in question, in case he has been mowing the pitch at Penlee Park or something and I just didn't realise ! The slavish devotion of ordinary people to the very forces that oppress them politically and economically grieves me politically and personally. Suppose it's just a matter of time before Duchess Camilla of Cornwall takes over as Queen, eh ?
  16. The problem, Borat, is that those who are infected cannot know they are till it is too late to avoid infecting others. People therefore cannot "know the risk" to others and the full chain of transmission which they may encounter or initiate. There will be occasions when rules seem pedantic, unfair or unduly restrictive. Without them, however, as currently in Brazil, deaths will escalate beyond all control. Sadly, some people will "use their own judgement" in selfish and blinkered ways. Even Johnson, whose early libertarian stupidity and delay contributed to the highest fatalities in Europe, now realises this. Even those of us who may on occasion have behaved as though football is more important than life and death no longer believe this. Do you, seriously ?
  17. Much wiser than endangering myself in that infected council paddling pool you call a pitch. The poor chap who banned me, oh dear ! Hasn't done him any good, had it ?
  18. Well done, CTB. Nice to see your reports. Looking forward to one from your game against St Just on Saturday.
  19. You need a smile after your Spurs boys were demolished by the mighty Joelinton ! Last time he scored, Botofogo Reserves were playing Real Kelynack on St Just Airport ! Do you ever think Roman might be still paying Mourinho a retainer to screw up our rivals for places in Europe ?
  20. I know Always been a millennium ahead of my time, the Galileo of Cornish football. Or maybe more like Fiver from Watership Down. Talking of rabbits, have they hollowed out enough bunkers under the St Ives pitch to host the world leaders' summit safely now ?
  21. I remember Mullion playing in Sky Blue in about 2970 before changing to their traditional red and white shirts. I also recall Culdrose, usually in pale blue, wearing red and black. eAF St Mawgan at different times, wire both yellow and white strips instead of their traditional blue and white.st Dennis, normally all blue, switched at one time to green: I recall St Just once having to play there wearing a weird yellow and purple change kit with no numbers on it. Penzance, one season, wore a very fetching pink kit under the guidance of the late Mr Mewton. St Day, usually in yellow, had a season in red and white stripes after being gifted a kit. Though Carharrack normally wear red, they were in diagonally divided orange and black when St Just beat them 9-2 in the 1970s. While the Tinners' early rules, which I re-wrote, stated that the colours should be predominantly green and black, the 1894 team wore red and green squares. Variations between black and white for shirts and socks have occurred. Various stripe designs including green, black and occasionally white have been incorporated.
  22. What's this ? The Pitch Rollers Union ? You're just a small suburb of Falmouth !
  23. Too right, Geoffrey, that 0-1 was Luggy's best result of the season. You must have had Roger Toms or Salvatore Barbegallo up front ! Nice little warm-up for Penzance to get them ready for next week, anyway. Spectators banned from Truro and Penwith College property? Not sure that would include double-vaccinated alumni who were founder members of College Management, m8 ! Behave ! That's like being the educational equivalent of John Mead, virtually royalty !
  • Create New...