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:D :thumbsup: Some more for you all out there. ENJOY

England manager Steve Maclaren told David Beckham that he was thinking about playing him in the next England friendly but may pull him off at half time.

"Fantastic" said David I usually only get an orange!

A supporter arrived at the ground one Saturday to find the place completely empty. He went to the office and asked an official,

'What time does the match start?'

'There's no match today,' replied the official.

'But there must be!' argued the fan. 'It's Saturday.'

'I'm telling you there's no match today,' repeated the official.

'But there's always a match on Saturday afternoon,' said the fan, 'even if it's only a reserves game.'

'Watch my lips,' shouted the irate official. 'There is no M-A-T-F-C-H today!'

'Well, for your information,' the would-be spectator shouted back, 'there's no F in match.',

'That's what I've been trying to tell you!' yelled the official.

A primary teacher in Liverpool explains to her class that she is a big Liverpool fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Liverpool fans.

Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Liverpool fan," she replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not a Liverpool fan, then who are you a fan off?"

"I am a Chelsea fan, and proud of it," Mary replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Chelsea fan?"

"Because my mum is a Chelsea fan, and my dad is a Chelsea fan, so I'm a Chelsea fan too!"

"Well," said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Chelsea fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?"

"Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be a Liverpool fan."

:D:D :D

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