Any English teachers read this forum?

[gillo10]

I have only been on here for a few minutes today yet have already read a few postings by "Vinny Jones" and Im pleading, for all our sakes as well as his, for any voluntary lessons in basic English!! Surely there must be someone out there who can help him. Maybe someone has a seven year old who is looking at the teaching profession as a future lifetime of work who could help.

In the meantime if you live in a village and have noticed the idiot is missing just PM Vinny and try to take him home. :thumbsup:

[Suzie Chow]

I have only been on here for a few minutes today yet have already read a few postings by "Vinny Jones" and Im pleading, for all our sakes as well as his, for any voluntary lessons in basic English!! Surely there must be someone out there who can help him. Maybe someone has a seven year old who is looking at the teaching profession as a future lifetime of work who could help.

In the meantime if you live in a village and have noticed the idiot is missing just PM Vinny and try to take him home.

Gillo10, Im sure it should read - In the meantime, !!!! Ok, so Vinny is evidently no expert in the field of spelling or grammar and it is difficult to interpret what is being said but it appears he was in a bit of a rage at the time!!! Leave the bloke alone !!

[Xembla]

I'm an English teacher.

But I've found I have to switch off before coming onto the Internet or risk going crazy.

Plus, if were to proofread Vinny's posts, I might make him take the "u"s out of words like "colour" . . . :SM_carton:

[gillo10]

I have only been on here for a few minutes today yet have already read a few postings by "Vinny Jones" and Im pleading, for all our sakes as well as his, for any voluntary lessons in basic English!! Surely there must be someone out there who can help him. Maybe someone has a seven year old who is looking at the teaching profession as a future lifetime of work who could help.

In the meantime if you live in a village and have noticed the idiot is missing just PM Vinny and try to take him home.

Gillo10, Im sure it should read - In the meantime, !!!! Ok, so Vinny is evidently no expert in the field of spelling or grammar and it is difficult to interpret what is being said but it appears he was in a bit of a rage at the time!!! Leave the bloke alone !!

Sorry Suz! Perhaps I should have put 15 commas in there? I was obviously going to make a mistake in there somewhere as I questioning someone elses grammer!

Sorry but it annoys me, I get limited time on t'internet and I have to spend most of working out what he is ranting at. Worse than text talk!!

[Guest simon sandwich]

suzie,

are you married to vinny or what????

let gillo have his say, he was in a rage also.

[Guest cloak and dagger]

gillo10,

mind you there is lots of people like 'vinny' just not as bad!!

:drink:

[big no 5]

Gillo 10,why have you got on the end, is it because thats how many games you miss

in a season through suspension. :yahoo:

[gillo10]

Big no 5 I served a 35 day suspension last season from an incident the season before and that was the last suspension I served, when was your last suspension by the way!!?

I have probably put the kiss of death on it now, best behaviour tomorrow!!

And the 10 is because that's my preferred number, as is 5 your preffered number. Though I thought Ian Dowie wore 9!! :yahoo:

[Ken Reed]

Whilst not wishing to take sides, I am a little surprised that Vinny Jones is being described as a `Village Idiot` and that a seven year old could `maybe` teach him basic English. Another thread on this site is almost as uncomplimentary.

Come on guys, give him a break! His opinion may differ greatly from yours but as we've all said countless times on this forum, "everyone is entitled to their opinion" and with regard to the way he has expressed himself in writing, have you even given any consideration to the fact that he (if Vinny is a male) may have a learning difficulty and could find it extremely difficult to express himself in writing.

If that is so, he or she should be commended for at least making the effort to get their point of view across irrespective of their abilities in communicating via the written word and even if no-one else agrees with it.

Why would anyone feel it necessary to belittle them for having their say simply because they have an opinion they may not agree with and because their grammar or spelling isn't quite as good as their own.

Some may find that his or her opinion totally differs from their own but surely it's not right to be criticical of the author simply because he may not be able write their thoughts down as others might. By all means give your opinion but let's not resort to petty insults.

This, after all, is a forum and should be about sharing opinions. Let's keep it that way. :thumbsup:

[Anita]

There's not many people on here who can say about someone elses grammer/spelling. If due to his spelling you can't make out his messages, don't read them, save your internet time and read about topics that interest you. :drink:

[Martin McHugh]

As a teacher, here are a few helpful tips for you budding writists, orthers, reeportors or kolomists!

1. Don't use no double negatives.

2. About them sentence fragments.

3. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

4. Between you and I, case is important.

5. Correct spelling is essentail.

6. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

7. Use your apostrophe's correctly. Omit the apostrophe when its not needed.

8. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

9. Of course, if any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

10. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.

11. A writer must not shift your point of view.

12. Avoid clichés like the plague. They're old hat. So, go around the barn at high noon to avoid clichés and colloquialisms.

13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; eliminate the superfluous in your writing.

14. One should NEVER generalize.

15. Be more or less specific.

16. And avoid starting sentences with a conjunction.

17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

18. Don't use commas, that are not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

19. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. So, take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.

20. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

21. Be careful to use the write homonym.

22. DO NOT use multiple exclamation points and all caps to EMPHASIZE a point!!!!!!!!

23. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.

24. Proofread your writing to see if you any words out

[Hakey]

Class Mr McHugh!

[Richard Chown]

As a teacher, here are a few helpful tips for you budding writists, orthers, reeportors or kolomists!

1. Don't use no double negatives.

2. About them sentence fragments.

3. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

4. Between you and I, case is important.

5. Correct spelling is essentail.

6. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

7. Use your apostrophe's correctly. Omit the apostrophe when its not needed.

8. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

9. Of course, if any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

10. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.

11. A writer must not shift your point of view.

12. Avoid clichés like the plague. They're old hat. So, go around the barn at high noon to avoid clichés and colloquialisms.

13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; eliminate the superfluous in your writing.

14. One should NEVER generalize.

15. Be more or less specific.

16. And avoid starting sentences with a conjunction.

17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

18. Don't use commas, that are not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

19. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. So, take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.

20. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

21. Be careful to use the write homonym.

22. DO NOT use multiple exclamation points and all caps to EMPHASIZE a point!!!!!!!!

23. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.

24. Proofread your writing to see if you any words out

As a teacher I hope your don't teach your pupils American spelling as you have here! :lol:

[Martin McHugh]

Eye haet 2 disssappoint u butt ur soppossed 2 identiefie th korrekly spilt worms!

[Guest Frodo]

EH? WTF. :unsure:

[Tom Trust]

Gillo10, Anita:

Grammar.

[Guest Ronin]

I'm an English teacher.

Plus, if were to proofread Vinny's posts, I might make him take the "u"s out of words like "colour" . . .

Xembla you are obviously not an "English" teacher. In England we, quite properly, spell 'colour' with a 'u'. We also, very proudly, include this 'u' in words like 'honour' and 'favour'. If you prefer to spell these words without the 'u' then please refer to yourself as an "American" teacher :P

[Martin McHugh]

Thank you Mr. Hake!!

[Suzie Chow]

Martin, your guidelines are hilarious !!! We all leave ourselves open to critisism on here and I totally agree with Anita, if you struggle to decipher a message then read something else !!

Married to Vinny ? No I am not !! Just have a son with dyslexia who gets ribbed all the time so felt it necessary to have my say !!!

The written word is ambiguous anyway ! How many times have you read a text or e- mail and misconstrued it ? All our messages are open to interpretation !!!!

[Martin McHugh]

Ta Suzie, just meant to make some think and giggle!!