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Lets make fun whilst their struggling !!!!!


whuru

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Midfield.If I think its rubbish,thats my view,my opinion,weather anyone agrees with it or not.

That's why we have Forum's,because people have different opinions

I don't agree with you,so I say so.

No point in forum's if everyone agrees.

As for teaming up with gooners,to give the Mancs a rough ride.Don't think so.

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Heres a few covering most teams so hopefully no one feels left out. Some are a bit old but still made me laugh (i'm easy to please :thumbsup:) enjoy :smiley20:

Q: What do you get if you see a Leeds United fan buried up to his neck in sand?

A: More sand.

British Rail have decided to start sponsoring Nottingham Forest.

The company think they are a suitable team because of their regular points failures.

Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Man Utd striker Diego Forlan?

A: Clinton can score.

Q: Name three football clubs that contain swear words

A: Arsenal, Scunthorpe and F*****g Man Utd.

Gazza : Wahey Boss! ken that jiggisaw puzzle I wiz doing? Yeel never guess - I've finished it and only took me 6 months!

Walter Smith : Well, what's so good about 6 months???

Gazza : Like it says Gaffer - on the box it said '3 to 6 years'

Apparently, when Harry Redknapp was West ham manager he offered to send the squad on an all expenses paid holiday to Florida but they declined. They'd rather go to Blackpool so they could see what it's like to ride on an open-top bus.

Sunderland manager Peter Reid walked into the Nationwide Building Society one day whilst a robbery was in progress. One of the robbers hit him over the head and knocked Reidsy out. Whilst coming around, Reid said "Christ, where the hell am I"

One of the staff told him he was in the Nationwide

Reid replied - "It's May already then!"

Q: What's the difference between West Ham and an albatross?

A: An albatross has got two decent wings.

Q: What is the difference between Coventry and the bermuda triangle?

A: The bermuda triangle has three points.

Q: Why does Gordon Strachan keep visiting Argos?

A: Because that's the only way he can pick up any Premier points!

A little boy took his parents to court because he did not want to live with them anymore. The honored judge said to him "So why don't you want to live with your dad?"

"Because he beats me" said the little boy.

"Why don't you want to live with your mum then?" asked the judge.

Because she beats me aswell.

"Oh" said the judge "Well who would you like to live with then?"

The little boy replied" I would like to live with Southampton FC, because they don't beat anyone!!"

Q: How do you make a Gunners fan run?

A: Build a job centre.

Q: Why do Hearts fans plant potatoes round the edge of Tynecastle?

A: So they have Something to lift at the end of the season.

Q: What happens when the opposition cross the halfway line at Villa Park?

A: They score.

Q: What tea do footballers drink?

A. PenalTea!

Apparantly, Blackburn football club is under investigation by the Inland Revenue for tax evasion.

- they've been claiming for Silver Polish for the past 30 years.

Q: What's the difference between an Everton fan and a supermarket trolley?

A: The trolley has a mind of it's own.

Q: How many Manchester City soccer fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None - they're quite happy living in the shadows.

A Derby County and Middlesborough fan are strolling along Duke Street and suddenly the Middlesborough supporter says "Woooh! would ya look at that dead bird!". The Derby County fan looks skywards and says "huh, Where???"

Q: How many Evertonians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: As many as you like, but they'll never see the light.

Q: What do you call a Wimbledon fan with an IQ of 10?

A: Supremely gifted!

Q: How do you change a Charlton fans mind?

A: Blow in his ear!

Q: How can you tell ET is a Rangers fan?

A: Because he looks like one.

A Sunderland supporter goes to his doctor to find out what's wrong with him.

"Your problem is you're fat, "says the doctor.

"I'd like a second opinion" responds the man.

"OK, you're ugly too" replies the doctor.

4 surgeons are taking a tea break:

1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

2nd surgeon says "Nope, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

3rd surgeon says "Well you should try electricians. Everything inside them is colour coded."

4th surgeon says "I prefer Tottenham fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and a**es are interchangeable."

Unsubstantiated reports seem to suggest that Chelsea will be releasing a new record at the end of the month, "I'm forever blowing Doubles"!

Q: What would you get if Newcastle were relegated?

A: 45,000 more Chelsea fans

Q: How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb?

A: He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him.

Q: What's the difference between a Liverpool fan and a broken clock?

A: Even a broken clock is right twice a day!

Q. What's the difference between a Hibernian fan and a coconut?

A. You can get a drink out of a coconut!

Graham Taylor was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her shopping.

He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" to which the old lady replied, "no way you got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to sort it out!"

A bloke goes into Stanstead Airport and manages to eventually get into the departure lounge where his flight home is being called. All around him there are overturned tables, smashed windows, computer terminals broken, upturned chairs and crowd control barriers lying on the floor.

"Christ, what's happened here?" he asks one of the ground crew.

"Oh yeah...", he replies "Absolutely hopeless .... we had the Chelsea players in here this morning filming the new Nike ad".

A Bloke walks into a bric-a-brac shop and sees an ornamental brass rat, the sort of thing women of a certain age love to put on the mantlepiece. He thinks "that'll be perfect for his Mother's birthday", so he asks the shopkeeper how much it is.

"£25 for the rat, £100 for the story", replies the man.

"Forget the story" says the bloke, and so buys the rat for 25 quid. He walks off down the road, but has not gone 30 yards when a rat comes up from the gutter and starts to follow him. Soon more arrive, and in a few minutes the whole street is a sea of rats, all following the bloke, who keeps walking until he comes to a cliff. He throws the brass rat over, and millions of rats follow, one after each other, plunging to certain death. The bloke them runs back to shop.....

"Aaaah", says the shop keeper, "you'll be back for the story"

"Screw the story - do you have a brass man utd fan?"

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