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Sorry if this offends any of the millions who still love his music, which I count myself amongst but it always makes me chuckle. Credit goes to  The Royale Family Christmas Special a few years back!

You may remember that Elvis Presley had a heart attack and died while sitting on the toilet. It's somewhat ironic that, after the number of number 1s he had, it was a number 2 that got him in the end.

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Little Jonny keeps asking his dad for a TV in his bedroom, to which his dad keeps saying "No", but after prolonged nagging the dad give in. Several nights later Jonny comes hurtling down the stairs and asks "Dad what is Love Juice?" Dad is horrified and after looking at Mum who is equally alarmed, proceeds to give Jonny the dreaded Talk. Jonny sits on the sofa in total silence with his mouth wide open in utter amazement. Dad then asks "What exactly were you watching then son?" Jonny replies" Wimbledon"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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An Essex girl was involved in a serious car crash. There is blood everywhere. The Paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car and lie her flat on the ground. One Paramedic says" I am going to see if you are concussed" " So how many fingers am I putting up Tracey?" Tracey screams and replies. "Oh my God I'm paralysed from the waist down"!!!!!!!

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On 26/06/2020 at 08:14, Billy Davies said:

An Essex girl was involved in a serious car crash. There is blood everywhere. The Paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car and lie her flat on the ground. One Paramedic says" I am going to see if you are concussed" " So how many fingers am I putting up Tracey?" Tracey screams and replies. "Oh my God I'm paralysed from the waist down"!!!!!!!

That's in poor taste Billy.

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A British Doctor says, "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a brain out of one man, put it in another and have him looking for work within 6 weeks." A German Doctor says, " Well we can take a brain out of a man and put ii into another man and have him preparing for war within 4 weeks." The American Doctor not to be outdone says. " You guys are way behind. We took a brain out of a man, he got elected as President and now half the country is preparing for war and the other half is looking for work"!!!!!

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