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Here are 12 of the finest double-entendres that were aired on TV & Radio

1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Martens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside him. '

3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - ' Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.'

5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god!! What have I just said??'

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, ' So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters ‘Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:’ There’s nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this.'

10. Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'

11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself'.

:D

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

After our win on Sunday i thought i'd pick on Chelsea fans for a bit :D:drink:

Two blokes were walking through a cemetery when they happened upon a tombstone that read:

"Here lies John Sweeney, a good man and a Chelsea fan."

So, one of them asked the other: "When the hell did they start putting two people in one grave?"

Q. Two Chelsea fans jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground first?.

A. Who gives a F**K!

Q: What do you get when you cross a Chelsea Fan with a pig?

A: I don't know, there are some things a pig just won't do.

Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon?

A: A Problem.

Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon?

A: An even bigger problem.

Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon?

A: Problem solved

Q: How do you define 144 Chelsea fans

A: Gross Stupidity

Q: Why did Chelsea go on the stock exchange?

A: To prove that crap can float.

Q. Why do Chelsea fans whistle whilst sitting on the toilet?

A. So they know which end to wipe!

I've heard that Stamford Park has arguably the best pitch in the Premiership. Well...not entirely suprising considering all the sh*t that has been on there.

Q: What's the difference between a Chelsea supporter and an Onion?

A: No one cries when you chop up a Chelsea fan!

Enjoy :thumbsup:

And one Man u one :P

Q: What's the difference between a Man-U fan and a Vibrator?

A: A Man U fan is a real ****

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Nothing to do with football, but what the hell, its Christmas

There were two old men sitting on a park bench passing the day away talking. One old man asked the other "How is your wife??"

Second old man replied "I think she is Dead!"

First old man "What do you mean you THINK she is dead???"

Second old man "Well.... the S*X is the same but the dishes are starting to pile up."

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