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Trelawny League Results - Sat 4th May 2013


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Guest BenTheYeti

Division 1

Halsetown 0 - 4 Lizard Argyle

Division 2

Storm 7 - 2 Halsetown Reserves

Division 5

Storm Reserves 1 - 13 Gwinear Reserves

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Titans 0- 2 Illogan Played at Illogan

Thought we battled well throughout today but experience played a huge part in both halves we never pressed Illogan enough and right on half time we gave away a soft goal when we failed to clear it after our sweeper missed it and our keeper. Second half we battled but had limited opportunities to claw the goal back , on possession thought we nicked it but some experienced players from Illogan never really panicked. With about 15 to go Babbo scored a screamer which is worthy of winning any qtr final. Pleased to of conceded that in some respects would not of wanted to go out of the cup with a calamity freebie. Our lads learnt from today and will move forward with the experience. Congratulations to nick and mark and good luck in the next round.

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DIV 5

ST.ERME (5) 8 Rapsey 4, 19, 25, 38, 44, James 52, Parr 57, Truscott 63,

PENWITH (0) 4 67, 76, 82, 87,

Don't know where to start Nige !?!!! One of the most ridiculous games i've ever played in i think!!?? We had 5 of our regular team out so knew we were in for a tough game after nicking it 4-3 in the 93rd minute down Penwith bout six weeks ago with virtually our full side. In spite of this we probably played as well as we have played all season in the first 45 minutes playing some lovely stuff on our concrete rutted field! The lads were creating chance after chance and luckily out of my six chances, four went in. The free kick was my own good work!!! :) So Andy was pretty pleased half time, carry on where we left off etc, which we did start of the second half going down the slope and i was pleased to help set a couple up for my team mates to prove im not a greedy b*****d!!! :D Mike Truscott scoring the goal of the game with a superb strike off the post from the edge of the box! Although saying that the first Penwith goal was a screamer and Den didnt even move and hes usually got reflexes like a cat!! In fact he even has a saucer of milk most mornings in his office down in the basement!!! Not too keen on his litter tray though to be honest!! My mrs turned up at half time and she said at the end " you hardly touched the ball, all the play was up the other end!!" Cheers luv . :o To be fair she was right as Penwith battered us for the last 25 minutes and it almost felt like a defeat when the excellent ref Mr Steve Tootle blew his final whistle!!! :mellow: Weird game!!! :(

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Guest BenTheYeti

Division 2

Storm 7 - 2 Halsetown Reserves

After spending all night dyeing my hair blonde, putting on a fake moustache and changing my name to Eduardo Sanchez, some bloke called Peggy saw through my disguise, so I was confined to running the line for this one.
As has been the case for the last 26 years, Halsetown had a few missing, and they were forced to play against the men in blue and a rather strong breeze for the first 45 minutes (though if the Storm lads thought that was windy.. wait till you go up to Halsetown in a few weeks.. take your kites).
There was nothing really in the first 4.6 minutes of note, but then some guy called Ben Kellow got his first few touches of the ball, and wouldn't you know it, he went and ruined what would have been a delightful afternoon in the sunshine by scoring a well taken goal; a couple of step overs and a burst of pace past Old Father Time himself Steve Hall and a rifled finish into the corner.
What followed for the next 30 minutes can only be described as a tidal wave of blue, as Storm clearly had a game plan worked out to perfection; work it through the middle and to the lads up front to cause carnage. And with Halsetown already on Plan Z, 5 goals were plundered by the home side, and so quickfire was it all, even my memory of it all is tested, but I'll give it a go.
Firstly, Ben Kellow notched his second after a ball into the box never made it out of the 18 yard area, and he was given more time than Tony Blair's leadership to get the ball onto his left foot and smash home. Halsetown drew a collective breath of relief when finally being able to push the aforementioned striker out wide, only to watch him hit Warp 6 in going past the "Vintage" Halsetown defence, and squaring for his partner in crime to finish with aplomb. Three nil soon became four, as the goal of the game arrived, with a long ball over the top setting you know who away at Usain Bolt pace this time, and he lobbed the onrushing Halsetown keeper to perfection.
After this goal, Halsetown created their best couple of minutes of the first half, and after Lawrence "The Cat" Kennedy had sobered up sufficiently to run remotely in a straight line towards the goal, wielding a corner kick, the Storm keeper was forced into a very good save from a Dan Hudson header at the back post. Clearly irritated for having to defend for 40 seconds, Storm promptly marched down the other end and got goal number 5, as the ball again came right across the pitch from left to right, and the resulting shot gave the Halsetown keeper an excellent opportunity to show off his impression of me, mistiming his dive as the ball bounced up off his glove into the top corner. The young keeper made amends soon after in making a great point blank save with his foot minutes later, unfortunately the ball didn't fall to one of the 87 red shirts in the box, but a lad in blue and the first half rout was complete.
HT 6-0
Any other team under any other manager would have probably started a Royal Rumble at half time. But to their credit the Halsetown lads never got on each other's backs once all afternoon, and with the manager's words of "just %^&$ing enjoy it", a change in formation and personnel, and the relief of having the wind aiding them, the second half was a much more evenly contested 45 minutes. Halsetown even had the audacity to create the first chance, when Richard Thompson bulldozed his way in from the left wing, and his bobbling shot gave the Storm keeper a chance to show he'd also been reading the same "How not to save a football" book as me, by making a bit of a mess of it, but lucky to see it fly off his knee to safety. At the other end, a lovely ball over the top was nearly met with an audacious goal, but the winger's first time volley from about 17ft in the air just flashed wide of the side netting.
Whilst the ball was being retrieved, the Halsetown manager gave The Cat the water bottle containing vodka, and from the goal kick, the ball was flicked on and off he went like.. well, a cat after a mouse.. leaving the Storm defence in his dust and smashing home a left foot shot from 10 yards.
If this wasn't generous enough from the home side, the referee (some guy called Rodney Campbell... never heard of him!!) decided to get in on the act. Halsetown won a corner, which was delivered but also well dealt with by the Storm keeper, who under pressure managed to get a good fist on the ball and punch it away.. then the ref blew his whistle seemingly for a free kick to Storm.. but no, the keeper had apparently pushed a Halsetown player and a penalty was awarded. I'd say it was one of the most bizarre penalty awards I'd seen, but then again, there was that one against Titans last week...
Anyway, The Cat was fully fuelled on liquor by now and duly rammed the penalty into the far corner to cut the deficit to 4. The Storm manager had clearly seen enough, and removed himself from Linesman duty to come and bark orders at his troops (someone even called him PeggyTheYeti..) and Storm regained their composure to see off the rest of the game without incident, and even had time to bag a 7th goal, as deja vu once again struck as a ball into the box never made it out of the 18 yard area, and Ben Kellow was given more time than Tony Blair's leadership to get the ball onto his left foot and smash home for his 4th of the match.

Not exactly a pretty watch if you come from TR26, but Halsetown gave it a real go in the second half which was good to see. Thought Storm were very good throughout, and the game was played in great spirits with not one bad tackle or foul word spoken all game by either team.

Pleasure to meet Peggy too, good luck for your remaining games


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Guest BenTheYeti

Thanks Ralph, yeah getting closer mate. Weird game, could have had 7 first half and didnt get a sniff second half!?! See you boys struggled in front of goal a bit today!!!!! :-)

I may be wrong, as I was only half paying attention.. but I think Ralph may have missed from all of 2 yards in the first half.. if it wasn't him.. then the lad who missed must have felt ashamed.. for all of 6 seconds as I think it was only 2-1 at the time!

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Guest BenTheYeti

Nah wasn't me Ben, :) wish I was big as the chap you seen, that's out big centre midfielder Kris Uren! Had a screamer midweek and then he misses that sitter ha!! Yea 2-1 at the time, 5-1 half time.

To be fair, I was at the other end of the pitch and my ears pricked up at the mention of your name.. turned round and saw the miss!

23 goals between the two pitches.. glad I didn't try and watch both at once!

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Guest BenTheYeti

I probably supplied the extraordinary long throw ;) or the through ball! I was Gwinears right back my friend!! :)

That would make me the fool who tried to kick it to your hands and put it about 5 yards wide of you :wacko:

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Guest BenTheYeti

Shame I volunteered to run the line really, rarely get the chance to be at Clijah, not playing and 3 games being on.. I was foaming at the mouth to kick a football!

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Titans 0- 2 Illogan Played at Illogan

Thought we battled well throughout today but experience played a huge part in both halves we never pressed Illogan enough and right on half time we gave away a soft goal when we failed to clear it after our sweeper missed it and our keeper. Second half we battled but had limited opportunities to claw the goal back , on possession thought we nicked it but some experienced players from Illogan never really panicked. With about 15 to go Babbo scored a screamer which is worthy of winning any qtr final. Pleased to of conceded that in some respects would not of wanted to go out of the cup with a calamity freebie. Our lads learnt from today and will move forward with the experience. Congratulations to nick and mark and good luck in the next round.

Thanks marksy.. You have a good team there and I believe you would do well in our league. Let's hope you keep pushing on. All the best

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MARKSY

Today, 05:45 PM

Titans 0- 2 Illogan Played at Illogan

Thought we battled well throughout today but experience played a huge part in both halves we never pressed Illogan enough and right on half time we gave away a soft goal when we failed to clear it after our sweeper missed it and our keeper. Second half we battled but had limited opportunities to claw the goal back , on possession thought we nicked it but some experienced players from Illogan never really panicked. With about 15 to go Babbo scored a screamer which is worthy of winning any qtr final. Pleased to of conceded that in some respects would not of wanted to go out of the cup with a calamity freebie. Our lads learnt from today and will move forward with the experience. Congratulations to nick and mark and good luck in the next round.

Quality side, shame your not in prem next season you certainly should be. St buryan and titans best sides Iv personally played this season!! Like you say our experience prob was the difference and we have numerous players who can score. Best of luck for nx season hopefully your boys stay and take you to the prem!!

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Div 5

Marazion Res 12-2 Clipper Bar

Team was in good spirits after the midweek win over Troon and continued the scoring form today although we needed some Clipper help to get the ball rolling. Scott James crossed from the left and a defender stuck his leg out and diverted it past his keeper. This was after only about 5 minutes. Took a while to get the next one though, Matty Thomas' shot was saved and Liam Mooney was on hand to tap in the rebound. Then a bit of luck as Scott's shot was heading towards the corner flag, Craig Rennard stuck out a leg and slid it past the keeper. Then a moment of contraversy, as Liam broke into the Clipper area their defender slid in and made a great tackle, taking the ball cleanly. However, the referee thought differently and gave us a penalty. Our normal penalty taker Dale Vigus kindly stepped aside and allowed James Burlingham to score his first goal of the season. That makes all out field players scoring this season. We dominated the first half and prevented Clipper from having any shots on target in the first half. Clipper played a back four and then five immediately in front of them which made it difficult for us to get in behind them. I felt sorry for their lonely striker called Tiny who had no chance against our back line. 4-0 at half time but could have been more.

The second half was just a blur of goals. Liam scored his second blasting in from the right hand side and Craig scored the sixth. Dale blasted in from close range and Sanjay Vadgama made it eight. Dale then moved up front when Matty was subbed having not scored all game!!!!! He then finished off a tidy move by passing the ball passed the keeper. I think then Clipper scored when their striker broke away and toe punted the ball over Eric in goal. Then after a corner was cleared Adam Caul crossed the ball deep to the far post where I headed past the keeper. Craig scored his hat trick after finding himself unmarked on the edge of the area. Then Clipper were awarded a penalty after I handled in the box. The Clipper keeper ran the length of the pitch to blast it down the middle and score past Eric. Having scored 11 the next goal would be our 200th goal of the season. At this point everyone wanted the honour and started shooting from anywhere and everywhere. With seconds to go Stevie Hunt curled in a corner and I got my head to it before Adam Caul and beat the keeper and defender on the line. End of the scoring for the day but was a comprehensive victory with good football being played.

Credit to Clipper they battle to the end with smiles on their faces. Best shout of the day was from a Clipper defender who shouted "let's keep it below 10!!!!" Although at this point we had already scored 12!!!!! Ref had a good game although was wrong with the penalty shout.

Eric Sleeman

Jason O'Sullivan

Scott James

Adam Caul

James Burlingham 1 Adam Martin 2

Craig Rennard 3

Steve Hunt

Dale Vigus 2

Sanjay Vadgama 1

Matty Thomas Mark Hampton

Liam Mooney 2

OG 1

MOM: Adam Martin - Scored 2 set up 1, gave away a penalty and scored our 200th goal and all this after only being on for 30 minutes. Sorry lads, I had to have it at least once and I'll never score 2 again. ;)

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div 5

newlyn dolphins 2 v Helston 6

started this game with a bang....dan zam scoring after 25 seconds craig tanner making 2-0 after 4 minutes dan zam again on 11 minutes phil black on 21 minutes and ben tossell after 25 minutes. second half we then produced our worst half of football of the season. .we were abysmal! ! Fred Conway scored a free kick from the halfway line and newlyn scored with a couple of neat finishes. .weeks rest now before the cup final!

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Division 2

Storm 7 - 2 Halsetown Reserves

After spending all night dyeing my hair blonde, putting on a fake moustache and changing my name to Eduardo Sanchez, some bloke called Peggy saw through my disguise, so I was confined to running the line for this one.

As has been the case for the last 26 years, Halsetown had a few missing, and they were forced to play against the men in blue and a rather strong breeze for the first 45 minutes (though if the Storm lads thought that was windy.. wait till you go up to Halsetown in a few weeks.. take your kites).

There was nothing really in the first 4.6 minutes of note, but then some guy called Ben Kellow got his first few touches of the ball, and wouldn't you know it, he went and ruined what would have been a delightful afternoon in the sunshine by scoring a well taken goal; a couple of step overs and a burst of pace past Old Father Time himself Steve Hall and a rifled finish into the corner.

What followed for the next 30 minutes can only be described as a tidal wave of blue, as Storm clearly had a game plan worked out to perfection; work it through the middle and to the lads up front to cause carnage. And with Halsetown already on Plan Z, 5 goals were plundered by the home side, and so quickfire was it all, even my memory of it all is tested, but I'll give it a go.

Firstly, Ben Kellow notched his second after a ball into the box never made it out of the 18 yard area, and he was given more time than Tony Blair's leadership to get the ball onto his left foot and smash home. Halsetown drew a collective breath of relief when finally being able to push the aforementioned striker out wide, only to watch him hit Warp 6 in going past the "Vintage" Halsetown defence, and squaring for his partner in crime to finish with aplomb. Three nil soon became four, as the goal of the game arrived, with a long ball over the top setting you know who away at Usain Bolt pace this time, and he lobbed the onrushing Halsetown keeper to perfection.

After this goal, Halsetown created their best couple of minutes of the first half, and after Lawrence "The Cat" Kennedy had sobered up sufficiently to run remotely in a straight line towards the goal, wielding a corner kick, the Storm keeper was forced into a very good save from a Dan Hudson header at the back post. Clearly irritated for having to defend for 40 seconds, Storm promptly marched down the other end and got goal number 5, as the ball again came right across the pitch from left to right, and the resulting shot gave the Halsetown keeper an excellent opportunity to show off his impression of me, mistiming his dive as the ball bounced up off his glove into the top corner. The young keeper made amends soon after in making a great point blank save with his foot minutes later, unfortunately the ball didn't fall to one of the 87 red shirts in the box, but a lad in blue and the first half rout was complete.

HT 6-0

Any other team under any other manager would have probably started a Royal Rumble at half time. But to their credit the Halsetown lads never got on each other's backs once all afternoon, and with the manager's words of "just %^&$ing enjoy it", a change in formation and personnel, and the relief of having the wind aiding them, the second half was a much more evenly contested 45 minutes. Halsetown even had the audacity to create the first chance, when Richard Thompson bulldozed his way in from the left wing, and his bobbling shot gave the Storm keeper a chance to show he'd also been reading the same "How not to save a football" book as me, by making a bit of a mess of it, but lucky to see it fly off his knee to safety. At the other end, a lovely ball over the top was nearly met with an audacious goal, but the winger's first time volley from about 17ft in the air just flashed wide of the side netting.

Whilst the ball was being retrieved, the Halsetown manager gave The Cat the water bottle containing vodka, and from the goal kick, the ball was flicked on and off he went like.. well, a cat after a mouse.. leaving the Storm defence in his dust and smashing home a left foot shot from 10 yards.

If this wasn't generous enough from the home side, the referee (some guy called Rodney Campbell... never heard of him!!) decided to get in on the act. Halsetown won a corner, which was delivered but also well dealt with by the Storm keeper, who under pressure managed to get a good fist on the ball and punch it away.. then the ref blew his whistle seemingly for a free kick to Storm.. but no, the keeper had apparently pushed a Halsetown player and a penalty was awarded. I'd say it was one of the most bizarre penalty awards I'd seen, but then again, there was that one against Titans last week...

Anyway, The Cat was fully fuelled on liquor by now and duly rammed the penalty into the far corner to cut the deficit to 4. The Storm manager had clearly seen enough, and removed himself from Linesman duty to come and bark orders at his troops (someone even called him PeggyTheYeti..) and Storm regained their composure to see off the rest of the game without incident, and even had time to bag a 7th goal, as deja vu once again struck as a ball into the box never made it out of the 18 yard area, and Ben Kellow was given more time than Tony Blair's leadership to get the ball onto his left foot and smash home for his 4th of the match.

Not exactly a pretty watch if you come from TR26, but Halsetown gave it a real go in the second half which was good to see. Thought Storm were very good throughout, and the game was played in great spirits with not one bad tackle or foul word spoken all game by either team.

Pleasure to meet Peggy too, good luck for your remaining games

Can't and won't add too much to this,

BUT...

Storm scorers

Ben Kellow x 4

Will Annear x 2

Sam Doble

We were certainly understrength with a forced reshuffle to the midfield due to unavailability. As described, we still dominated the 1st half, where I don't think it would have been unfair to say we could have reached double figures. I spent the first half as the sole sub/linesman/manager/physio/ballboy whilst praying that there were no injuries to force my entrance to the game. Second half was a different story. I actually had the 2 subs I had named turn up after working late but still running the line I made some changes to formation and personnel to give the 2 lads some game time who had turned up.

Not seeing the whole picture from running the line, I was unaware the change of system had left us weak in the middle and allowed Halsetown get back into the game. It also didn't allow me to realise that Will Annear was on his hat-trick when I subbed him , which I wholeheartedly apologised for. Anyhoo.. was glad we had the large scoreline in the first half as we made it difficult for ourselves and wouldn't have wanted to have only had a 3 goal advantage.

Well played to Halsetown, showed real character and fight when they came out 2nd half. Nice to meet Ben, who was far less abominable than the Yeti name would suggest.

Statement of fact: The game was refereed by Rodney Campbell.

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