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we all know them around the leagues the people who make us laugh or sometimes cry [cringe] most clubs have them or have played against them on or off the pitch ,this is just a bit of fun and not a post to get personal my own sugestions from people i have met are rappo scoffy birchy [ paul marazion] andy james [hayle] and andy howes [ref] so guys and girls its open to you all and perhaps reasons why

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sorry there is one person i forgot at hayle at the moment frasier cadman he does not stop talking on or off the pitch but he has a lot of time for the young players at the club [ i think because he is a big kid at heart] and when you see him off the pitch he always has a cheeky grin and full of mischief no wonder renno has aged this season

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I'm one of the older players in newquay 3rds (3 of us over twenty) it's like being at school again, the kids and the way they act and what they come out with just make me laugh loads, makes a real good atmosphere, if they where old enough to have a drink after it would be better.

A good topic though, characters at each club is what keeps them running, (as well as the hard working volunteers who never get the credit they deserve)

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In the 90s St Just had a great character that ran the line called Rodney 'Rosenbereg' Beer.

You would be greeted by this bearded 'boffin' prior to the game, in the grandstand where pleasantries would be exchanged welcoming you to St Just.

As captain you would meet with Rodney again when the referee brought the captains together at the start of the game for the handshakes with officials.

Now the mind games start.

Never would Rodney be at the circle waiting, no, he had to be called for, all attention now would be on this legend as he half ran, half skipped across the hallowed turf of Lafrodwa Park turf wearing those 1970s gola trainers, ill fitting cords and a cotton shirt with the cuff buttons undone and only the cuffs turned back. (tell me if im wrong, you all remember it!).

He would now intently listen to the referee instruction, nodding and agreeing with everything said, thus giving the opposition captain a false sense of security that this man would be impartial.

A hand shake would then follow, but you could never look into his eyes, too close together and too deep back into his head.

Off he would trot deliberately to the wrong side of the pitch only to be called back by the ref and told what line to run. More attention focused on him. More mind games, as the opposition captain now feels a bit of sympathy for him, as a volunteer linesman unsure, or is he............ ?, of what he is doing.

The game starts, a nothing 50/50 decision is given by Rodney to your team......... More mind games.

An early St Just goal or two without reply and this trend would continue until the final whistle and a St Just victory.

However, if your team was naive enough to score then the following would occur ;

Rodney would flag for all 70/30 throw ins to St Just and argue the toss with the ref.

He could match Dave Njie and Paul Ainscough for pace over 40 yards and flag a marginal offside or (not an offside at all) of a player at the opposite side of the pitch from him, in dense fog. Raising the flag with all the theatre and drama that would make Noel Coward look like a poor member of the St Just amateur dramatics group. Identifying the exact dandelion the players was passing over when deemed offside.

Now Rodney is in the zone, he is focused, his eyes now that far back in his head, like two piss holes in the snow.

He wont miss a thing or will he.........................

A 50/50 in the middle of the park, the ball bouncing waist height, a Curnow,Lawry,Olds, Nicholls or Franks approaching at speed, boot raised, coming in for the kill, you cant back out,the thought of 'will they play the ball or my balls' goes through your mind. The referee is on the blind side (St Just know it) he wont be able to clearly see the challenge, out of the corner of your eye you can see that Rosenberg has a panoramic view and he can see all of it. The challenge, the ball has long gone, the boot catches your knee, all 6 studs then slide up the inside of your thigh and sink, with force, into your gonads. Your last memory is of the linesmans clear view, he has seen it all, it is yellow or a straight red for sure. The ref may have to confirm this with the linesman. You look up and in the split second between contact and being left in an incapacitated state Rodney has dropped the flag, turned around and bent down to tie up his gola shoelaces. The ref asked if he has seen the challenge, 'seen what?' is the reply fastening the imaginary double knot. Play on.

The longer the game goes on the more frantically Rodney flags. He brings a Sea King down in the cow field.

Now we all know those linesmen that drift into the field of play, a couple of yards off their line........ Rodney took it to another level.

One April mid 90s ,Vidal watching,evening game Rodney was doing just this. Every time Ben Lennard (promising Port youngster) went on an overlap, Rodney would drift in of the line and match him for pace. this happened several times, each time Rodney gauging the pace of Ben better and better, getting closer and closer to him all the time. The next time he done it I though 'that effing linesmans whispering in his ear, at pace.........!'. Intimidation I thought at the time.

Come pre season training, no Ben Lennard. He has joined St Just. Rosenberg had carried out an illegal approach, as a linesman, on the field of play, in front of Port management, referee and Vidal (no flies on him!) running close to sub 10sec 100m. Luring Ben Lennard to St Just on the promise of free warrens pasties and the biggest saffron bun at St Just feast. Oh,and his hard earned cash.

The game is over, St Just have won.

You dice with death in shower (Kevin Richards once come off the pitch at St Just hair stuck to his head with blood and sweat, entered the shower, foolishly tried to adjust the temperature and came out looking like Joe Brown).

Meet Rosenberg in the bar, another hand shake , no hard feelings, sorry I missed the tackle/assault, couple of consoling lines from poem no one has heard of and buys you a stale warrens pasty.

And still you cant see into his eyes.

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Rhonda Mitchell, Mr Gulval.

remember a few years ago when playing for long rock against gulval rhonda on the wrong end of a drubbing grabbed andy allen by his pony tail and dragged him across the pitch hilarious at the time and best of andy never even swung a punch and the ref never even gave him a red card priceless .now days the players concerned would have been crying for mummy and the ccfa would have a field day .and i would probably had more than one red card for clotheslining a player who had one of our team in a headlock ,worst of he wanted to carry on after we were both sent off , i was not having any of that as i told him i was more worried about telling the missus about the fine as i was out of work at the time but back inthe pub i was told i had won the football card organised by barry knowles and ray eddy and that paid my fine ,but i cant remember buying a team great days good mates

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Guest BenTheYeti

I've read that twice now and laughed as hard both times.. made me wish I was old enough to play against St Just in the 90's

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Rod Beer - Legend is not a generous enough word to describe the man who has almost single handedly dragged football in St Just up from the birth of the game to something nearer the 90's, 1890's. If you can walk away from St Just after the match, you must have been an unused sub, and even then, you would still be on the steel toecap radar.

It would be advisable for all away sides to wear Red shirts and shorts, it covers the blood, whereas a White shirt would show up the spilt claret and thus give rise to the basic Neanderthal instinct of Uggg, Kill !

As an Honarary Peppermint, Rod Beer is loved, admired and worshipped by almost all Newquay supporters, unfortunately, the Combo players rarely share our passion, although some would say that Sam McKune is more of a Tinner than most. Former Peppermints Mike Rabone was probably the instigator of Mr Beers rise to godlike status in these parts, he donated the Union Flag which was then adorned with the phrase 'Rod Beer Fan Club' by the Loyal, this was recently delivered to the St Just Clubhouse, gracious thanks later received from Mr Beer who was unable to receive it in person.

As Issac Rosenberg, he has lit up the forum more than most, we should all bow to the superiority that god has bestowed upon the Saint of Penwith.

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