COMMENTS FROM THE DUG OUT.

[THE BALD ONE]

Please share any comments from the dug out , be them funny , non-constructive or even abusive.

I will start it off :

At last nights game - Parkway v Tavistock , after some poor attempts to clear the ball from the Parkway goal mouth , the shout from the Parkway bench was :

" Defend Properly "

Class ...........

[Ponsonby]

My old favourite

"It's not Rocket Science!"

[Nanks]

From the Dave Pearce and Keith Husband days -

For fu*k sake, just fu*king clear it you fu*king w*nker

[Goldeneye]

You've all heard this one, but I laugh every time I hear it. A manager just about to make a sustitution shouts out; 'Quick, warm up - I'm taking you off'

[Ian Pethick]

From the Dave Pearce and Keith Husband days -

For fu*k sake, just fu*king clear it you fu*king w*nker

I thought that one was a Vincente Del Bosque line . :D

[Nemesis]

"keeper, he always puts it to the right" - its that the keepers right or the penalty takers ? Well Done Bobby Oaten!

[Richard Chown]

My favourite has to be: Paul Caddy - "Put it in the Mixer!!!!!", I've shouted it at many a football stadium around the world.

[Tommy Matthews]

Newquay v Pendeen at Mt Wise last season.

"Stop ****ing around playing football, just ****ing get it up the field!"

I was under the impression that playing football was the thing we all tried to do!

[Crouchy]

at sticker last season, 'keep it short'.... then the ball ends up at Lewis Prince's feet and gets smashed at goal from 40yrds!

[Crusty]

All you have to do is stand next to mr bobby oaten. Probably some of the worst shouts of all time

[NORTH DEVON DWELLER]

Our now Chairman when he was manager used to love shouting "WALK" whenever we were winning and he made a sub. Don't think he got the fact that the ref adds 30 seconds per sub.

Another was "he dived like a dying swan ref" when an opponent went down in the penalty box. :yahoo:

[St Darren]

Come on ref, you're ruining a shit game of football here!

[THE BALD ONE]

Priceless ..... lads absolutely priceless. ha ha ha . We will have to keep this topic going all season.

:drink:

[Ponsonby]

"Get tight lads, get right up their assess!"

That must be a spin-off of "They don't like it up 'em."

[cornishteddyboy]

That wasn't a tackle ref, that was an assault!

[pro]

Fu@k sake ref that's shocking

[THE BALD ONE]

Another one you will here is " Slot it in his channel " ................ :wacko:

[big no 5]

Keep it tight at the back for the last 10 minutes!!! We were losing 5-nil at that moment in time.Words from the clipboard king that is Frank Gardiner. :yahoo:

[Goldeneye]

In the football league a phsio was walking off with an injured player. The phsio looked at the manager and said. 'I think it's concusion, he's confused'. The manager replied ' tell him he's Pele and get him back on' :yahoo:

[falfootie]

Stay close to the centre forward - if he goes for a piss, you go with him!

[Soccer Follower]

Jockey him.

[mikec]

As a manager the funniest thing i,ve said to a player was at half time ,i was telling a defender to get the ball down and pass it on told him to remember he,s a centre half not a footballer !

[kellow]

"Shoot at the keeper- he couldnt catch a bloody cold"

[falfootie]

Pre-match team talk - "I want 90% for 100 minutes"!

[Crusty]

Leigh cooper special - Take that F**king cigar out your mouth

[Home Waters]

:thumbsup: When the keeper dropped the ball, the shout came - 'if I threw you a bag of chips I bet you'd catch that'

[THE BALD ONE]

In the football league a phsio was walking off with an injured player. The phsio looked at the manager and said. 'I think it's concusion, he's confused'. The manager replied ' tell him he's Pele and get him back on'

The best yet .............. :thumbsup:

[Thaddeus Cox]

"No, no, no! Why does he always......." "Great strike son! I've been telling him to do that for ages"

[Sam Boston]

"Smack your head Ref, your eyes are stuck!" :blink:

[margo]

Loving this topic :yahoo:

[Soccer Follower]

From the Chairman of my first club:

"Great big boy like Bill,should be able to boot the ball from one end of the pitch to the other"

[John Mead]

At a Womens football match, "Keep an eye on their number 6, she's got one hell of a crack on her!"

[B Manning]

What about comments from referee`s we do have a sense of humour, I will start the ball rolling so to speak, player running through the centre circle get`s caught with a late tackle but his team retain good advantage so I play on, as I run by the player who was fouled he shouts " Jesus referee" I look down at him and reply " sorry son he couldn`t make it today you will have to put up with me"..

[coady9]

Its all about your individual battles if the man your marking scores 3 your not doing your job!

[karaoke]

Whilst reffing a womens game at Dobwalls the manager shouted to one of his players " Open your legs". I think he was telling her to run faster. (I hope)

[Karen & Mark]

Gaffer "Sub please Lino"

Gaffer shouting "NUMBER ELEVEN !"

Skipper "Who Smithy ?"

Gaffer "No the f*cking lot of ya !"

[Leigh Cooper]

Sorry Crusty, used a few in my time but certainly not that one?

[Fingers R Us]

Fetch him a ladder... when a player shoots way over the crossbar.

[true_blue_browner]

'stick to him like shit on a blanket' john dunn - dobwalls

[true_blue_browner]

after a late challenge 'thats later than a virgin train'

after a clearance shanked out for a throw in ' you wana cup of tea with that slice' (get that one alot with my goal kicking, usually from my own team! hahaha)

[Knight Rider]

At half time manager said to us "ive always said 2-0 is the hardest lead to keep"!!!

[telithowitis]

One that makes me laugh everytime I hear it is when a header goes off in the wrong direction,,

"He's got a head like a 50p"

:c:

[Bambi]

A number of years ago playing at a windy Marazion, our manager gave our defence the following tactical advice, 'if in doubt, St Michael's Mount'.

[THE BALD ONE]

At a Womens football match, "Keep an eye on their number 6, she's got one hell of a crack on her!"

Priceless :yahoo:

[Crouchy]

'get passed him, he's slower than me!' quite often the're not lol.

[Guest Carl.P]

(In a SWL game a few years ago) After the referee had given a penalty against his team for handball, the manager leapt from the dugout and screamed, "for f*#k sake ref you can't give handball for that, he can't help it, can't you see he f*#king well runs like that".

[Nick Pope]

"get at him, he's a donkey" Or "ref he can't f#####g can't say that to you"

One I know I am guilty of and still use is "go fishing in the box"

[motherwontletmegoargyle]

Can't remember where or when but after a keeper had let in the 5th or 6th goal manager mumbled "Thank christ he's getting married next week save me dropping him"

[isaac rosenberg]

1. "Run past him, for f@~#k sake, he's older than God."

2. Half time, to club lino: "And YOU, get your f@#?&ing flag up, you're supposed to be the fifth member of the back four."

3. Toblerone Head !

4. Mother, when aged 80, swinging crutches, clearing the visiting dugout at Lafrowda Park; "I will not tolerate your swearing !"

[THE BALD ONE]

At last nights game - Parkway v Saltash.

Parkway took the lead and a shout from the bench was " that's come because we're tighter ".

From the Saltash bench - " Get in behind him " ...........

I have got to start taking a note pad and pen to the games , there were more but I can not rememebr them.