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Penzance Reserves (Combo) v Gulval

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Gulval brought a full squad to Penlee Park tonight. Penzance were trying out a new formation and trialling a couple of new players, hoping to get a better result than against Pendeen 3-3 and Sennen 4-3.

Gulval wearing bright orange shirts that must be awful to look at in bright sunshine kick-off towards the promanade end of the ground. Pz have tried to fool them a bit by having the grass cut with cross-ways cuts and followed by the old circular cut starting from the centre point. This seemed to do the trick as Pz for the first time this season started passing the ball to each other and had Gulval chasing shadows for all of the first 2 minutes. Pz ran down the right got a cross over and ......... promptly missed the inviting header.

Back come the Jaffas and Pz's goalie saves with his feet from a Gulval shot. 5 minutes gone and all the fags that the players had before the match are starting to take their toll. Pz get a free kick and bang another one goes into orbit over the crossbar.

8 mins and Pz break down the left with Matty Fox who places a ball into the goal curving the ball around the advancing keeper. 1-0 to Pz. The crowd of 20 mostly Gulval supporters are silent with the execption of a couple of youngsters who cheer. In fact the game eventually attracts a crowd of roughly 40-45 who wander in, in dribs and brabs. Obviously nothing on telly tonight.

Gulval try a couple of long range shots in the hope of catching the Pz goalie off guard but he could have been taking 40 winks as they were both well wide. Pz still playing the passing game break and are awarded a penalty for a challenge in the box. Matty Fox steps up to take it and the keeper chooses the right direction getting down low to palm it away. Bloody good save actually.

Gulval come forward and are awarded a free kick from 40yds out. The ball floats across but the keeper grabs it off the forward's head. The Gulval player goes down injured but the goalie kicks the ball upfield. The ref blows for the player but Sean George of Pz says something to the ref and is booked. A shot from Gulval goes into a crowded box and the Pz goalie gets a lucky rebound and is able to make a save.

H-T 1-0

Pz substitute Sean George and they lose their shape at the back and Gulval come more into the game. They start breaking down the left and right but keep firing wide of the goal. Pz start to look shakey at the back and revert to their long ball game (the any port in a storm game) that doesn't work. Gulval have a corner and there is a neat headed flick on but no-one connects. They get a free kick on the edge of the box but blast the ball into the wall and then promptly put it into orbit amonst the trees at the far end. Liam Devine for Pz goes on one of his typical runs and manages 60yds before being brought down on the edge of the Gulval box. The resulting free kick is wasted. Pz put another cross in and the Gulval goalie makes a grab for the ball and makes a point blank save.

Sean George comes back on and the Pz defence seems to stabalise. Pz float a ball in and Ryans Williams goes up with a defender and the goalie and gets his head to the ball first and the ball loops into the back of the net. 2-0 to Pz.

Gulval kick off and break and the Pz goalie has to save. Stuart Cooper for Gulval breaks forward but has the ball stolen off his foot by the Pz goalie just as he was lining up a shot.

The game starts winding down with occosaional potshots at both goals. Pz break forward and find themselve 3 on 3. Ball is squared across the goal and Howard Vorne puts the boot in and it pops out into the net 3-0 to Pz.

In the final couple of minutes Gulval force a corner but as the ball comes over there is a "hand of God" spotted by the ref and crowd, and the whistle blows. The teams play out the last minutes of the match and the ref blows full time so we can all go in the club for a bevvy.

Another good match between 2 fairly even teams. The difference between them was Pz passing game when they played it and Sean George at the back who seemed to cut every long ball out with his head.

Well done and thanks for the game Gulval.

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What a brilliant report, dead funny and well worth the read!! Shame you didn't know any other Gulval players name except Coopsie. He'll love that! I missed the game for various reasons, and therefore my heart missed a beat from the declaration in the report that "Gulval had brought a full squad". However, I think I'm gonna be ok, I'll forgive you, and I will be available for the future!!

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