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St Agnes v Foxhole

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St Agnes 2 Foxhole 1

Saturday 4th August 2007

The prospect of an afternoon out by the sea was an appealing one but the trip was marred by a combination of an eventful and frustrating journey, followed by a lacklustre display by the Foxes, on a day of great excitement for the good people of St Agnes. Yes, it was carnival day, the biggest event to hit the town since, er, last year's carnival.


Most carnivals, however, do not require the entrants to practice driving very slowly before the designated start time, so I was running late as I reached Chiverton Cross having been forced to follow a host of dubious competitors all hoping to be crowned Best In Show, including a rusty Allegro which had been mocked up to resemble the Great White Shark recently spotted off our shores by some deluded emmet. Its plastic tail was waving so alarmingly in the breeze, the next time I see it will probably be on Police, Camera, Action, while its papier mache head looked about as threatening as Julian Clary; I made sure I gave the driver a hard stare when I eventually overtook him.


St Agnes town centre is a complex mix of narrow roads, restricted parking, tacky gift shops and a challenging one-way system. With road signs indicating even the general whereabouts of Enys Parc evidently an optional extra, I had to swallow my pride and ask the way. Regrettably, so vague and incomprehensible were the directions emanating from the scruffy chap I stopped, it soon became obvious he wasn't from St Agnes either (in fact, he was probably from Moronville, just down the coast).


My next choice was no more enlightening; an old lady who smelt of urine advised me just to "follow the crowd" (I ended up in the chip shop), before she scurried off, humming the Alzheimers theme tune and apologising to a lamp post she bumped into. Still, as the appointed hour for the carnival fast approached, the excitement among the locals had reached fever-pitch and, indeed, I could hardly contain myself either. But, before I could enjoy the heartwarming spectacle of buxom women in gorilla suits, sweaty men dressed as Lily Savage, and bitchy mothers living out their dreams while applying last-minute lipstick to the barely-out-of-nappies Fairy Queens, I remembered I had a game to watch, having by now stumbled upon the pitch.


Typically for North Cornwall, the match was played in something resembling a wind-tunnel. St Agnes quickly took advantage of the gale, Andrew volleying home after only two minutes, and the rest of the half was as one-way as the road network. The lively Andrew twice wasted easier chances than the one he had converted, Benney was denied by Holland, Friend blazed over from close-range and Thomas drove wide from distance, as the Foxes, without both Meens and Ames, struggled to contain the sharper home team. Although Warne hit a rasper against the bar, it was no more than scant relief, as Lawrence, deputising for the absent Dillon, and Rowe were too often left exposed by an ineffective midfield.


Lawrence was pulled off at half-time (which surprised him as he was only expecting a slice of orange) and Foxhole did improve after the break, largely, I suspect due to the strong wind now at their backs. Hill swung in some dangerous corners, but the imposing figure of Kemp proved the biggest obstacle to our attacks which lacked, shall we say, a certain finesse. Nevertheless, Nicholls' headed equaliser on 72 minutes from Adam Holland's long throw-in was deserved, and both teams may have settled for a draw at that point. However, with mere moments remaining, Fairclough was out-muscled on the halfway line by Bennetts, who ran on unchallenged before crossing for the lurking Andrew to plant a firm header into the corner.


So, with an air of disappointment, I headed home, through the thronging crowds eagerly anticipating the sound of the brass band to signify the start of the carnival. I didn't hang around, but apparently Lily Savage just beat the shark into second place.

Foxhole(3-5-2): Ryan Holland 6; Jamie Bullock 6, Mark Rowe 6, Dexter Lawrence 6; Richard Fairclough 5, Matthew Lean 5, Andrew May 5, Ryan Hayhurst 6, Jason Warne 6; Scott Hill 5, Adam Holland 5.

Subs: Steve Panter 6, Liam Nicholls 6, Adam Rowe 5.

St Agnes(4-4-2): Tom Thorpe; James Thomas, Gary Watkins, Steve Kemp, Lee Jeffries; Darren Friend, Bobby Bryant, Lee Hazeldine, Daniel O'Toole; Justin Andrew, Tom Benney.

Subs: Gavin Bennetts, Jamie Venables, Adam Barnicoat.

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Very good!

We would have been forgiven for thinking when you first arrived that you were actually lost and belonged in the Carnival yourselves - I am sure one of the floats later on had some faces resembling the Foxhole players on the pitch - or was that the Lily Savage float by the local fishermen - it was difficult to distinguish!

You mention wind - anyone who has ever played at Enys Parc would remember how sheltered the venue is - trust me that wind was nothing!

A shame Billy couldn't join us for the day coz Martyn planned to give him another tour of the village - via the pubs that is not the 'tacky' gift shops. (Don't think they are that bad - will compare them with the ones in Foxhole when we are next that way!)

Thanks for a good afternoon - one of your boys was obviously in good pre-season training he ate 4 hot dogs and a bacon roll!

Perhaps we will come to yours next year - do you have a carnival?

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Personally thought what a lovely day it was at St.Agnes on Saturday Mandy.

Did consider putting on teeshirt,shorts,etc. but then thought it could be a little cold for that at Aggie but pleasantly surprised.It was a lovely warm afternoon.

Would have thought our friends from up high up amongst the "Cornish Alps" would have enjoyed the warmer atmosphere on the north coast but there you go.

Well done Lee Gillett for his physio work,got Bobby Bryant able to carry on after a heavy challenge by the corner flag only to be kicked again just after and having to be carried off.

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Guest Peppermint

I think in Darin's case it is people in glasshouses!

We have far more tackier gift shops in Newquay than St Agnes.

On Foxhole - I drove through that metropolis last week and have never been so depressed since they had some dreadful Country and Western music [ if you can call that music] at the Football Club. It will be interesting for Darin to enlighten us with the whereabouts of the Foxhole gift shops and the date for their Carnival!

Nevertheless I enjoyed Darin's excellent entertaining report as usual.

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