Anita Posted July 5, 2010 Report Share Posted July 5, 2010 :rolleyes: Richard Branson was asked to be Spurs new sponsor but he declined the offer. When asked why he said "How could we possibly put VIRGIN on the Shirts of a team that get F****d every week Haringey council has blocked Tottenham's plans to build a new ground on Northumberland Park. A town hall source said: "We don't mind having a funfair there once a year, but a circus every fortnight is a bit much." "I was playing Scrabble and had enough letters to make 'Tottenham Hotspur Football Club'. I was gutted when I found out it was only worth two points." Tesco are releasing new Oxo cubes in Spurs colours. Customers are told to look out for laughing stocks. A young boy goes to social services and tells them he has nowhere to live. "What about your parents?" asks the social worker. "No, they beat me," says the boy. "What about your grandparents?" says the social worker. "No, they beat me even harder!" says the boy. "Well ... where do you want to stay then?" replies the social worker. "Tottenham," says the boy. "They don't beat anyone. · What do a toothpick and Tottenham have in common? They both have two points Juande Ramos, shortly after another training session, comments to the head groundsman at White Hart Lane how impressive the pitch is looking. "It ought to," replies the groundsman. "We put 70 million quid's worth of manure on it every week." I just went down to the newsagents and bought Tottenham Hotspur magazine. Thank goodness they had porn mags to hide it in. · What does a Spurs fan do after he sees his team win? Turns off the Xbox After leaving San Siro, Jose Mourinho was asked if he was going to help Spurs get out of their slump. He turned around and said, "No way, I ain't that special". Apparently the entire Tottenham squad have been busy honing their skills playing the computer game Championship Manager. Sadly it seems Juande misunderstood and thinks they want to play for a Championship manager. Contrary to what you may think, Spurs are the strongest team in the league at the moment. Sure, aren't they holding everyone else up? What do the Premier League and a cowboy have in common? They both have spurs at their feet. A man was found dead floating in the Thames, wearing a blond wig, full make-up, bra, knickers, suspenders and a Spurs shirt. Before informing the next of kin the police removed the Spurs shirt to save the family embarrassment. What would an improved version of Spurs be called? Newcastle United. Did you hear that Juande Ramos was clocked doing 169mph on the M1 coming back from Stoke? Apparently he was just so desperate for three points. · Is it just me or are Spurs the team to beat this season? Everyone's at it. A man is sitting in a pub with his jack russell dog one Sunday afternoon. The football results are coming up on the television in the corner: "Stoke City 2, Tottenham Hotspur 1," reads the announcer. Suddenly the jack russell jumps up and shouts out, "Oh, no, not again." The shocked landlord says, "That's amazing. Why did he say that when it was announced that Tottenham lost?" "Because he's a Spurs supporter," the dog's owner replies. The landlord then asks what the dog says when Tottenham win a match, to which the man replies, "I don't know. I've only had him six months." When a groggy Vedran Corluka regained consciousness in the ambulance leaving the Britannia Stadium on Sunday he asked medical staff who he was. On being told he played football for Tottenham Hotspur he lapsed into a coma. All trains through White Hart Lane have been cancelled due to a massive points failure. What's the difference between Juande Ramos and a cowboy? A cowboy wears Spurs on his boots whereas Ramos is a crap manager. What does THFC stand for? Tottenham Heading For the Championship. A little boy gets £10 for his birthday and rushes down to the sports shop to buy the new football he has been desperate for. He gives the ball to the shopkeeper, who says, "Sorry, son, this ball is £20. You only have £10". The boy says, "OK, if you blindfold me and I can guess the name of the club on any ball, will you give it to me for £10?" He agrees and gives the boy an Arsenal ball. "I can hear cannons blasting, so it's an Arsenal ball." Next he gives him a Millwall ball: "I hear lions, so it's Millwall." Amazed, the shopkeeper says, "Get this and you can have it for nothing." The boy listens and says Spurs. The man asks if he's heard a cockerel. "No," says the boy. "It's going down." What's the difference between Bigfoot and the Spurs defence? Bigfoot has been spotted several times. Spurs have been forced to rename their ground "White Lane" because their "Hart" was surgically removed when Berbatov and Keane were sold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spurfect Posted July 6, 2010 Report Share Posted July 6, 2010 Anita,is that meant to make things better.? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hammers Posted July 6, 2010 Report Share Posted July 6, 2010 Good on you Anita, A bit of friendly banter before the season starts, I am sure others will follow your example, we all need to lighten up from time to time, Hammers :thumbsup: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cockerkneeboy Posted July 6, 2010 Report Share Posted July 6, 2010 Anita,is that meant to make things better.? BANTER Supple term used to describe activities or chat that is playful, intelligent and original Banter is something you either posses or lack, there is no middle ground. It is also something inherently English, stemming as it does from traditional hi-jinks and tomfoolery of British yesteryear. I’m guessing some people just do not have a sense of humour, which is fine, but it amazes me how quick they are to comment on other topics or posts where people are just having a little fun and banter and I am sure other spuds fans including Coopsie and Hutchspur among others would have replied to the jokes Anita posted rather than become defensive This is a football forum and football is supposed to be fun (At least I thought it was) so why not have a bit of a laugh and a joke as well as some serious conversation, Life is far to short to be worrying over silly little issues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spurfect Posted July 6, 2010 Report Share Posted July 6, 2010 When people crack fun and jokes at other clubs,its just a laugh and banter,and everyone should lighten up. Anita had a go at a bit of humour on Tottenham's behalf. I did'nt find much of it funny,in fact Ive heard most of it before. Im sure when the boot is on the other foot,and its your own clubs,it is not so funny. I must apologise that my sense of humour don't reach the high standards of this forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anita Posted July 6, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 6, 2010 When people crack fun and jokes at other clubs,its just a laugh and banter,and everyone should lighten up. Anita had a go at a bit of humour on Tottenham's behalf. I did'nt find much of it funny,in fact Ive heard most of it before. Im sure when the boot is on the other foot,and its your own clubs,it is not so funny. I must apologise that my sense of humour don't reach the high standards of this forum. Hmm maybe if i put a picture of the Arsenal trophy cabnit on here you'd laugh. I know most of them ain't that funny and i know some are a bit old. But i try As for when the boots on the other foot..... when Mr Boy, Coopsie, or anyone else no matter who they support start the jokes about Arsenal i like to think i give as good as i get. I promise i'll try not to make you laugh in future :drink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cockerkneeboy Posted July 7, 2010 Report Share Posted July 7, 2010 When people crack fun and jokes at other clubs,its just a laugh and banter,and everyone should lighten up. Anita had a go at a bit of humour on Tottenham's behalf. I did'nt find much of it funny,in fact Ive heard most of it before. Im sure when the boot is on the other foot,and its your own clubs,it is not so funny. I must apologise that my sense of humour don't reach the high standards of this forum. spurfect I think you have taken this all out of context You are a Spurs fan, Anita is an Arsenal fan and I am a West Ham fan so naturally there is going to be banter bearing in mind the rivalry between the fans If you take time to look through some old posts you will see that both Anita and myself as well as many other forum members have had or have given plenty of good well spirited banter between oneanother and not one of us has complained In fact Coopsie (Spurs fan) and Anita (Arsenal fan) usually gang up on me and make my life hell but I’m better than both of them and always have an answer lol The forum is a place where anyone can come and either have a full blown conversation about what is going on in the world or just arrive and have some banter with other football minded people of the same ilk and leave but either way all of us have a choice of what we read and what we comment on If you are seriously offended by what someone has said then you do have the right to complain about them by using the REPORT button although in all honesty someone posting a few jokes about your football team hardly warrants reporting a fellow member as other Spurs fans may find them funny or even reply with some jokes about Arsenal or other teams I am not in any way trying to cause conflict, I am merely pointing out that what is said on the forum is said in jest and you are more than welcome to join in and have a little banter with us if you so wish All the best Cockerkneeboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spurfect Posted July 7, 2010 Report Share Posted July 7, 2010 I am certainly not offended,thats for sure. Just not interested in replying to people joking about my football club. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cockerkneeboy Posted July 7, 2010 Report Share Posted July 7, 2010 I am certainly not offended,thats for sure. Just not interested in replying to people joking about my football club. We will leave it at that then All the best :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anita Posted July 7, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 7, 2010 I am certainly not offended,thats for sure. Just not interested in replying to people joking about my football club. We will leave it at that then All the best Oh well Mr Boy looks like i'll have to pick on you and West Ham :smiley20: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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