Forum.

[spurfect]

There seems to me there is a real lack of any enthusiasm,on the Forum.

Where are all the characters gone,Coopsie[hardly appears]Midfield,Hutchspur,Mangle,Somersetspur,Isaac Rosenberg,Truro,s Mr Muriniho,but to name a few.

I know the season has'nt started,but there is a World Cup going on.

Looks like the days of the high intensity debates are gone.

Come on guys,where are you all.?

[cockerkneeboy]

spurfect

You seem to have forgotten me and Anita in that long list of established members (Maybe thats because we support the rival teams in London)

I have spent a fair bit of time posting various funnies during the world cup in the hope it may have bought a few laughs to peoples days or nights, Lets be honest the England team did not give us much to smile about did they

With regards to the other members on your list I know they still post but the summer months do seem to have been a little slow this year but im sure they will be back

Enjoy the rest of the summer :thumbsup:

[Anita]

Evening Mr Boy

I did see your funnies and even had a go myself, mine was lame compared to yours but i tried, and i noticed a fellow hammer has started a funny thread, but again that seems to of been ignored

As for where has everyone gone i think a few of the people you mentioned had enough of the bitchy comments and the abuse that waas on this forum for a while, i know i've not been on no where near as much as i used too. Maybe you could go and look at Mr Boy's funnies and leave a few jokes or pictures yourself. Who knows one day maybe the great coopsie will return with his poems about forum members (they where funny), and i'll def be picking on Mr Boy when Arsenal play WestHam :smiley20:

[hammers]

Hi Anita, I see your all fired up ready to go, for the new season,having a friendly banter with my co West Ham buddy, Cockerkneeboy,

Us West Ham fans are always around, & ready for anything that you may throw at us,

the season is about to start so good luck to you all, Except the Chelsea suporters, I just cannot stand that prat of a John Terry,

I have been expecting some comments from the Wayne Roony fans after some ladies said that he was the ugliest player in the World cup,

Hammers :thumbsup:

[cornishteddyboy]

Q: Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps?

A: Well, they had photos of Manchester United players on them - folk couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Q: What has Old Trafford on a Saturday afternoon at 4.45pm got in common with Wormwood Scrubs Prison?

A: They are both full of cockneys trying to get out.

Q: How many Man U fans does it take to pave up a driveway?

A: Depends how thin you slice them.

Sir Alex is queuing in his local building society, when a gunman bursts in through the door demanding money. Ferguson attempts to tackle the raider, but gets knocked over...as he falls, his head smashes the counter and Sir Alex is out cold. The robber escapes and the cashier tries to revive Ferguson. After a few minutes he comes round and looks bewildered. His first words are "Where the hell am I?". The Cashier replies: "don't worry, its ok, you're in the Nationwide." Ferguson replies, "F**k me, is it May already?"

Q: How many Man United fans does it take to change a light bulb?

A: 560,001. That is 1 to change it, 60,000 to say they've been changing it for years and 500,000 to buy the replica kit.

Q: What do Manchester fans use as birth control?

A: Their personalities.

Q: How many Man U supporters does it take to stop a moving Bus?

A: Never enough.

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Man Utd. fan?

A: Skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: What's the difference between a Man-U fan and a Vibrator?

A: A Man U fan is a real dick

Q: Why can't you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford?

A: All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Highbury

[cornishteddyboy]

We Wales supporters can joke about ourselves

1) What do call an Englishman holding a bottle of champagne after a Six Nations game?

Waiter.

2) Did you hear about the Valleys girl who wanted to get dirty with her boyfriend?

He took her to a coalmine.

3) What do you call a Welshman with no brain?

Dim.

4) The All Blacks were playing England, and after the half-time whistle blew, they found themselves ahead 50-0, Jonah Lomu getting eight tries. The rest of the team decided to head for the pub instead of playing the second half, leaving Jonah to go out on his own.

“No worries,” Jonah told them, “I’ll join you later and tell you what happened.” After the game Jonah headed for the pub where he told his team mates the final score – 95-3.

“What?!”, they said, “How did you let them get three points?”

Jonah replied apologetically: “I was sent off with 20 minutes to go.”

5) What do you get if you cross the WRU with an OXO cube?

A laughing stock.

6) Dai and Blodwyn were engaged to be married. Dai was sent by his company to London on a two-week sales training course. The course was fine but the evenings were boring and by the second week Dai was fed up with sitting around in his hotel bedroom and went down to the bar for a few drinks where he met a couple of girls of the night, who enticed him into spending his money.

On returning home Dai’s conscience got the better of him and he broke down and confessed to Blodwyn that he had been unfaithful to her twice.

Blodwyn said she was glad Dai had been so honest – she too had to confess that she had been unfaithful twice whilst Dai had been away... once with the Tredegar Male Voice Choir and once with the Ebbw Vale RFC first XV.

7) An English politician was giving a speech in Aberystwyth. He said: “I was born an Englishman. I have been an Englishman all my life, and I will die an Englishman!”

“What’s wrong, boyo?” shouted a voice from the crowd.“Got no ambition, have you?”

8) What’s the Ospreys and a three pin British electrical plug got in common?

They’re both useless in Europe.

9) Rhys: Doctor, I can’t stop singing the Green, Green Grass of Home.

Doctor: That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.

Rhys: Is it common?

Doctor: It’s not unusual.

10) Cabbie Rhys Parry was taking an American tourist from Bristol to Cardiff. When they were going over the Severn Bridge, the American told Rhys he had a longer bridge on his ranch in Colorado. When they arrived in Cardiff, Rhys showed him Cardiff Castle and he said his garage in Colorado was twice as big and only took a week to build.

When the tourist spotted the Millennium Stadium, he asked Rhys what it was.

He replied: “I don’t know, mate, it wasn’t there this morning.”

[cornishteddyboy]

A Scot is the only man on earth who would step over the bodies of a dozen bronzed naked beauties just to get to a glass of whiskey.

A Glaswegian stops before a graveyard in a Gorbals cemetery, and notices a carved tombstone declaring,

"Here lies a lawyer and an honest man..."

"Ach, who'd ever think..." he murmered, "there'd be enough room fer two men in that one wee grave..."

How do you disperse an angry Scottish mob?

Nae bother - just take up a collection.

3 guys, 1 Irish, 1 English and 1 Scotch, are walking along the beach one day and come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

"I give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total", says the Genie.

The Irish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity."

So, with a blink of the Genie's eye "AlKaZoom" the oceans were teaming with fish.

The English guy was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that nothing will get in for all eternity.

Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye "AlkaZoom - POOF" there was a huge wall around England. The Scot asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out."

The Scot says, "Ach, fill it up with water."

What do you call a Scots woman with one leg?

Eileen.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were standing looking at a prize cow in a field.

The Englishman says "Look at that fine English cow."

The Irishman disagreed, saying "No, it's an Irish cow."

The Scotsman thought for a moment and then clinched the argument. "No, it's a Scottish cow - it's got bagpipes underneath!"

Jock decided to call his father-in-law the "Exorcist" cuz every time he came to visit he made the spirits disappear!

How do you get a Highlander onto the roof?

Tell him the drinks are on the house.

Nowadays the Scots do not play bagpipes to frighten their enemies, they do it to annoy their neighbours.

A Guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus on a stool and announces that this is a very talented octopus, which can play any musical instrument in the world.

Everyone laughs at the man, calling him an idiot. So he says that he'll wager £50 to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus can’t play.

A guy walks up with a guitar and puts it beside the octopus. Immediately the octopus picks up the guitar and starts playing better than Eric Clapton. The guitar man pays up his £50.

Another guy comes up with a trumpet. This time the octopus plays like Miles Davis.

This guy pays his £50.

Then a Scotsman hands over a set of bagpipes. The octopus fumbles with it for a minute and then sits down with a confused look.

"Ha," the Scot says. "Can ye no play it?" The Octopus looks at him and says: "Play it? I’m going to make love to it as soon as I figure out how to get these pyjamas off..."

What do you call six weeks of rain in Scotland?

Summer!

A Scots pessimist is a man who feels badly when he feels good for fear he'll feel worse when he feels better.

A Scotsman visited London for his annual holiday and stayed at a large hotel. However, he didnae feel that the natives were friendly. "At 4 o'clock every morning," he told a friend, "they hammered on my bedroom door, one the walls, even on the floor and ceiling. Heck, sometimes they hammered so loud I could hardly hear myself playing the bagpipes."

Every Scotsman's fantasy is to have two women....one cleaning, the other dusting...

A Scottish fitba fan told his mate, "My dug watches all the games. When my team wins it jumps up and doon and claps its wee paws. When we lose it somersaults."

"Yer Kiddin me right? How many somersaults?" asked his impressed friend.

The Fitba fan replied, "depends how often I kick it..."

Did ye hear about the Scotsman who married a girl born on February the 29th so he'd only have to buy her a birthday present every four years?

"Ah, Kyla, drinking makes you look so bonnie."

"But Donald, I dinna drink!"

"But I do!"

McManus donates a lot of money to charity but likes to remain anonymous. He even forgets to sign his name on the cheques.