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Perranporth v Penzance

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Tuesday 12th May 2009

Perranporth 8-0 Penzance Reserves

Penzance had the last game of the season blues for the second year in a row. Last year they were beaten 6-1 by St Agnes and this season they were given a lesson in finishing by a strong Perranporth side. To say they never got going was an understatement; they never turned the key in the ignition. Not one chance in the whole ninety minutes. The Perranporth keeper could have laid out a camp bed and had a snooze.

Mind you Penzance had the excuse of a much weakened team due to call ups to the 1st team, cricket and injuries. It’s bad when you have to put your joint top scorer into the centre of defence.

From the off, Perranporth were camped in the Penzance half. Penzance try to pass their way out of trouble but it doesn’t work so it becomes a punt it anywhere game.

Perranporth (from now on referred to as Perran) thread the ball through the defence where Dean Harris runs onto it. At the edge of the box he shots low to the keeper’s left. The keeper gets a hand to it but the shot is too strong and Perran go 1-0 up after 6mins.

Perran get a corner, the ball comes over and a shot is cleared off the line by Steve Burt. Their next corner results in a second goal. The ball is knocked over low from the left and Justin Andrew on the 6yd line heads through a crowd of players to put Perran 2-0 up after 10mins.

Penzance then change tactics and have most of their team in defence and manage to hold out for the next 22mins until the linesman sees a push in the box and the ref awards a penalty. Up steps Justin Miles to score his first league goal of the season. He knocks it low to the keeper’s left. Dexter King the keeper gets a hand to it but can’t prevent the goal. 3-0 after 32mins.

We did a head count then and came to 43 of which 6 were supporting Penzance. This left 37 rooting for Perran. So small a crowd when all they needed was a point to win the League Championship. Don’t the people of Perran care?


If the first half was uneven the second felt like there was a steep slope towards our goal as it was all one way traffic.

Penzance lose the ball on the half-way line, Perran break, a shot comes in but King grabs it.

A long Perran ball sees Steve Rowsen run onto it, round the keeper and shoot in from 10yds out. 4-0 after 52mins.

Two minutes later another one goes in. A cross pitch ball to the left, a player runs onto it into the box, a square pass for Harris to tap in for his second. 5-0 after 54mins.

Penzance do knock the ball into the Perran box, who’s keeper has to jump to clear for a corner. Yahoo some goalmouth action. The corner comes to nothing.

Perran’s player/manager Ian Gosling gets a shot in that King palms away for a corner. The corner comes in and Rob Stapleton somehow knocks the ball up and over King into the net. 6-0 after 64mins.

Penzance get a five minute respite before the next one goes in. A cross pitch ball left to right to Gosling at the back of the box. He knocks it over to Rowsen who turns his marker, thumps in a cross goal ball that hits the inside of the upright and in. 7-0 after 69mins.

Penzance then lose the ball near half way. A Perran player breaks, shoots past King but skims the outside of the upright.

Perrans final goal is scored by their keeper. They break into the box and a player is upended. Ref says penalty, no argument. Up steps Andrew Butcher who blasts it down the centre. 8-0 after 80mins.

Penzance finish their season defending for the last ten minutes and when the ref finally calls a halt eleven lads who gave their all trudge off.

We can’t give a Penzance Man of the Match because no one stood out apart from perhaps Dexter King.

Penzance – Dexter King, Tom Hosking, Wade Brown, Steve Burt, Ross Badcock, Bradley Wills, Tom Withecombe, Darren Holsey, Liam Bennett, Ryan Andrew, Jimmy England

Corners Perranporth 5-1 Penzance (3-0 1st half)

Crowd – 43 (6 from Penzance)

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