Roy of the Rovers

Latest Helston rumours. Helston Chairman and Steve Massey both in Portugal (this is not a rumour and can easily be confirmed with a twitter search) for the Nations League Cup and scouting new signings for upcoming season. Original plan was to agree terms with John Stone to help bolster the Helston defence. But after his display yesterday, they decided to go after Harry Kane as not only did he put in a better defensive display last night than Stones, but Massey was overheard saying he would be a useful back up if either Goldsworthy or Eddy are injured, or get lost walking the mile from their homes to Kellaway Park on home match days. in order to help raise the $100 million signing on bonus for Kane, Helston AFC will be appearing in the new season of Dragons Den where they are asking for £1,000,000 in exchange for 1% equity in HAFC. Paul Hendy Chairman said he would be willing to throw in a couple of season tickets and a half time pasty if needed to sweeten the deal. The other £99 million is coming from the home games 50/50 raffle, where tickets will now cost £1 million each. Before you all scoff at this information it must be true, as I was told it by regular CFF contributor Leeds Utd, while sharing a pint with him at the “Pigs with Wings” exhibition at the Royal Cornwall Show. Following several pints of triple strength “Bodmin Baloney” I left him at the cattle ring where he was busy shovelling the bullshit. Best regards to all Roy Just heard the Kane deal has fallen through, but Jordan Annear signing for Real Madrid after Eden Hazard decides to sign for St Austell.

According to the Southern League website, Barnstable get a reprieve for the 2019/20 season and are not relegated. Assume therefore that Parkway were not offered the option of promotionn?

Falmouth Town 3 v 2 Saltash United

Bodmin Town 0 v 4 Exmouth Town Falmouth Town 3 v 1 Millbrook Godolphin Atlantic 2 v 1 Elburton Villa Helston Athletic 3 v 2 Saltash United Newquay 1 v 1 Ivybridge Town Plymouth Argyle Reserves 1 v 4 Tavistock St Austell 3 v 0 Cullompton Rangers

Launceston 3 v 1 Sticker (11.00am)  Plymouth Argyle Reserves 2 v 0Godolphin Atlantic (2.00pm) Tavistock 2 v 2 Helston Athletic (2.00pm)  CORNWALL SENIOR CUP FINAL (2.00pm) Falmouth Town 1 v 3 Saltash United

Bodmin Town 2 v 1 Camelford Callington Town 2 v 1 Launceston Cullompton Rangers 0 v 3 Exmouth Town Elburton Villa 1 v 2 Ivybridge Town Falmouth Town 2 v 3 Helston Athletic Godolphin Atlantic 2 v 2 Newquay (12.00 PM) Millbrook 2 v 2 Torpoint Athletic Sticker 1 v 3 St Austell Tavistock 4 v 1 Saltash United

Elburton Villa 2 v 1 Newquay 7.30 PM Launceston 3 v 0 Godolphin Atlantic 6.30 PM Plymouth Argyle 2 v 0 Cullompton Rangers   7.30 PM

Bodmin Town 1 v 3 Helston AthleticFalmouth Town 3 v 1 Callington TownLaunceston 1 v 2 Elburton VillaSt Austell 3 v 1 Ivybridge Town Tavistock 8 v 0 Sticker 

Godolphin Atlantic 1 v 3 Plymouth Argyle Reserves Torpoint Athletic 1 v 2 Saltash United

Bodmin Town 2 v 1 Cullompton Rangers

Camelford 0 v 4 St Austell Elburton Villa 1 v 4 Tavistock  Saltash United 3v 1 Callington Town Ivybridge Town 1 v 2 Falmouth Town

Bodmin Town 1 v 3 Saltash United Callington Town 0 v 4 St Austell Camelford 0 v 3 Tavistock Cullompton Rangers 3 v 1 Launceston Helston Athletic 3 v 1 Ivybridge Town Newquay 2 v 1 Elburton Villa Torpoint Athletic 0 v 2 Exmouth Town

Saltash Utd 4 v. 0 Godolphin Atl

Callington Town 3 v 1 NewquayElburton Villa 2 v 1 Bodmin TownIvybridge Town 3 v 1 CamelfordPlymouth Argyle Reserves 4 v 0 Launceston

Camelford. 1 v 4 Saltash United Godolphin Atlantic 0 v 3 Bodmin Town Helston Athletic 1 v 3 Exmouth Town Ivybridge Town 2 v 1 Callington Town Launceston 0 v 3 Falmouth Town Tavistock 5 v 0 Newquay Torpoint Athletic 1 v 4 St Austell