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panda last won the day on January 23 2018

panda had the most liked content!

About panda

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  1. I found out I am allergic to ceiling mounted dart board . They make me throw up.
  2. A few years ago I invented beachwear for one legged people. It was a flop.
  3. A lemonade factory has exploded releasing millions of gallons of lemonade. Police say many people have been schwepped away.
  4. I opened the door this morning and a beetle punched me in the face and called me fat. Apparently there is a nasty bug going round.
  5. A man is going to work when his wife phones him to warn him that a driver is driving the wrong way down the motorway. One he replied .they are all doing it.
  6. Did you know there are no canaries in the Canary Islands ? Likewise the Virgin Islands..........There are no canaries there either.
  7. Scientists have discovered that the biggest cause of dry skin is towels.
  8. My boss told me to join two pieces of wood together. Totally nailed it.
  9. Think we"re in for a bad spell of wether.
  10. It takes me 10 minutes to walk to the pub but an hour to get home. The difference is staggering.
  11. I accidently swallowed some scrabble squares. Going for a poo could spell trouble.
  12. I think my wife has been putting glue on my antique weapons collection. She denies it but I"m sticking to my guns.
  13. Murphys Law says that if anything can go wrong it will go wrong. Coles Law is mainly cabbage.
  14. If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!
  15. My wife asked me to pass her lip balm to her. I passed her superglue instead .She"s still not talking to me.
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