Billy Davies

A hundred years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has a car and only the rich have horses. Oh how the stables have turned!!!!!!

Honeymoon Period. Now that really is unfortunate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got run over by a guy driving a rental car yesterday. It Hertz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lets make it happen. I would love to meet you all and can travel or host.

You never hear of any accountants being attacked, there must be safety in numbers!!!!

Stephen Spielburg is casting for a new film based around the great composers. Anyway to give the film a twist and some OOMPH he decides to cast the parts to some of the great action heroes. He calls, Stallone, Seagal, Bruce Willis and Arnie and asks them who they would like to play. Stallone starts and says "I have always admired Mozart and would love to play him" "Chopin is my favourite and my image would improve if film fans saw me playing the piano" Said Willis "So I am happy to play him" I have always been partial to a Waltz" Says Seagal "So I would be very happy to play Strauss" Spielburg was happy with these choices and looked at Schwarzenegger and asked " How about you Arnie"? He replied "I'll be Bach"!!!!!!!

There will always be goals at Losty and there are a couple of nice pubs and the atmosphere is always friendly. It would be lovely to meet you all ( I think i might have met Older at Penryn Football Club) Take care all and keep joking, stay safe and sane and keep the jokes coming. Cheers Bill

Darren Morse from Foxhole used to do some great reports. Good lad Morsey but not seen o r heard much from him lately. Keep em going Fenman and hopefully if I am still able to play when we reconvene you and Keith B and Older could come to Lostwithiel and get free entry. Cheers Bill.

Fenman walks into a pub in Norfolk and the barman says " Hi mate are you that Keith B from St Just"? "No mate sorry" Replies Fenman. "Okay" replies the barmen "You must have a double" " Cheers JD and coke" Fenman replied!!!!!!!!!

When lock down is over I am going out for a session with all my mates but my wife is going to stay in and polish my medieval battle uniform. She has always wanted a night in shining armour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In his early days as a Police Officer, Fenman attended a terrible accident. Body parts were everywhere and young Fenman is making notes of where everything is. PC Fenman comes across a head and writes in his notebook 'Head on boolevard'. This doesn't look right so he crosses it out and writes ' Head on Bullevard'. Again this looks incorrect so he crosses it out and writes ' Head on Boullevard' Fenman knows it is wrong so quickly looks around and kicks the head. He then writes 'Head found in garden'!!!!!!!

A man follows a women with an parrot out of a cinema, stops her and says, " I am sorry to bother you but I could not help noticing that your bird seemed to understand the film. He cried at the right parts and he laughed at the jokes. Don't you find that unusual?" "I do indeed" She replied "He absolutely hated the book"!!!!!!!!!!

A wealthy couple decided to go out for the evening so they gave their butler Jarvis the night off. However once at the party the lady of the house became bored and returned home alone leaving her husband to enjoy himself. When she arrived home she found Jarvis alone in the dining room. She called him over and asked him to follow her. She led him to the master bedroom and said to him "Jarvis take off my dress" Jarvis obeyed. "Jarvis" She continued. "I want you to take off my stockings and suspender belt" Again Jarvis silently obeyed. Both were breathing heavily as the tension between them increased. She then looked sternly at him and said " If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired"!!!!

I met this women in Zurich once. She had a bottle opener in one hand, a knife in the other, a pair of scissors between her toes on her left foot and a corkscrew between her toes on her right foot. I asked what was going on and she replied. "I am a Swiss Army Wife"!!!!!!

I really enjoyed episode 1. I agree Shane Krac great entertainment and obvious leader on the pitch. Good to see Pete White still involved in football and if Gary Turner is the once promising young keeper from St Blazey, there will be plenty of Goalie chat when they are working on the pitch. I look forward to watching 2 and 3. Great stuff Parkway.