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Town Fan

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Town Fan last won the day on March 31

Town Fan had the most liked content!

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    Falmouth Town/Tottenham Hotspur

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  1. Two Englishmen, two Scotsmen, two Welshmen and two Irishmen were marooned on a desert island. The two Scotsmen got together and started a bank. The two Welshmen got together and started a choir. The two Irishmen got together and started a fight. The two Englishmen never spoke to each other - they hadn't been introduced...
  2. 2-0 down with just minutes left and it seemed all over. That come back will stay with me forever and in these troubled times it's a great lift to relive it. Hopefully we'll all be back at Bickland Park very soon.
  3. 7:30p.m. I get text from my girlfriend: Me or the football? 10:30p.m. I reply: You of course.
  4. A man was driving through the countryside one day, as he passed a nice little cottage there was a sign outside saying 'Talking Dog for Sale' so he pulled into the driveway and knocked on the door. A middle aged man answered. "I believe you have a talking dog for sale?" "Yes, come on in, he's just in his basket. Go over and have a word." So he went over to the dog, an Alsatian, it was about 5 years old. "How are you, mate?" "Well not too bad, thank you mate. Thanks for asking" replied the dog. "I'm having a couple of days off, I've had a bit of a traumatic time. You see, I was over in a war zone as a sniffer dog. Bombs going off every day, people shooting at you, rockets whizzing past your head. I've just recently come back after 6 months and I'm just going to lay here in my basket and have some time to myself." "Well that's only fair. Good on you, enjoy yourself" So the man goes over to the owner, "How much for your dog then?" "£5." "£5? That's cheap for a talking dog!" "That's dog's a lying so and so, he's never even left Cornwall!"
  5. Two women chatting, one asks "Why do you take baths in milk?" The other replies "I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower."
  6. I was in the kitchen the other day and asked my niece for the phone book. She laughed at me for being out of date and told me to use her phone. So I did. The wasp is dead, the phone is broken and my niece is in tears.
  7. I just rang Alcoholics Anonymous and said I didn't think I had enough beer to get me through this lock down. They're really quite rude, aren't they!
  8. My wife looked out the window this morning and said she was going out to scrape the car. "Against what?" is apparently not the right response.
  9. Sticking with the book theme. When 'A Tale of Two Cities' was first serialised in the British newspapers, it was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times.
  10. Recently seen in the small ads: FOR SALE One Encyclopedia Britannica, no longer required as I just got married and the wife knows everything.....
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