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Richard Chown

Whats is the funniest thing you have seen in local football?

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a couple of seasons ago illogan were playing st.ives, some guy scored a screamer for illogan but it hit the stanction and came back out referee said it hit the cross bar and allowed play to carry on when it was a blatent goal!!

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Tim Reekes refereeing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Darren Murrish Goalkeeping !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two seasons ago one of the Ludgvan players took a penalty against me and I dived and pushed it into the corner of the net right by the post and it somehow squeezed through the net and out and the Ref gave a corner kick.

Also last seasons incident with Penzance's Manager Adrian Ferrell being sent off by Larry Marsh.

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Guest holmans10

Dean Jones penalty for Holmans 3rds last night at Culdrose, his brother scott was not impressed, didnt help being 1-1 with a minute to go :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: :lol:

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Guest Dermot

Before a Duchy game a couple of seasons ago i told the sub from one of the teams who was volunteered to `do the line` to go with his left back,10 minutes into the game his team had a corner and he was stood in the wrong half of the pitch by the corner flag,when i asked him why he had gone the full length of the pitch he said "our left back takes the corners" ;0) :wacko:

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I was playing for Truro GWRSA sunday league,a while ago now,Paul Hosking & Reno introduced

me to the cornish hakka....shorts down to your knees with girating your hips & singing some stupid tune.

It was performed around the centre circle just before kick off.

What a bunch off tossers we must have looked....I joined in though.

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Guest Postie Pidge

Wadebridge Ladies keeper (a few seasons ago) trying to take a goal kick from the edge of the area instead of the six yard box.

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Guest Dermot

One from down memory lane,playing for a team in Leicester on a cold saturday afternoon,a couple of the lads were rubbing Ralgex in their legs to warm them up,when one of the West Indian lads from the team asked for a handful,but a slight of hand from someone handed him a tube of toothpaste,after 5 minutes of trying to rub the new `minty` Ralgex into his right leg we couldnt contain our mirth anymore and told him,he had to play the 1st half with one white leg,and thankfully saw the funny side. ;0) :D

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Watching a PZ SWL game at Penlee park in the late 70's or early 80's one of the Pz lads went up for a header and came down clutching his eye. A couple of minutes later the ref blew for half time. The player, who I can't remember, called a group of us over on to the pitch and we spent half-time looking for a contact lens which he had lost jumping for the ball. In those days they wern't throwaway and were expensive.

There were about 10 of us on our hands and knees scrabbling around for 15minutes.

We didn't find it.

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Guest class of 93

falmouth ath v mullion res many years ago ,gary head (anyone remember him?)chasing with clenched fist mullion left back in to the fir trees of draceana avenue,dont think he caught him,gary wasnt blessed with pace unfortunately!!!

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Playing for Porthcurnow Exiles in the early 80's, some of the guys weren't too sure about the rules, but they were eager to play. One guy once took a throw in much like a bowler bowls a cricket ball. Mind you, he got good length on it. Another guy assured us he was ok in goal, and just before the kick off, asked us what all the white lines were around him! Kick-off got delayed for a few minutes that day. Also, bearing in mind most of the guys that played were from the Caribbean/Bermuda/Fiji and so on, they weren't too keen on the weather, and during one game, it started raining and about 4 of them just ran off the pitch to take cover during play.

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Guest plonker

the funniest thing that i have seen is when referee sid thomas would pull out a hankie when you thought that was going to be booking.

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Guest omerta

playing for Duchy in the early nineties the referee turned up minus his flags on consulting our linesman on what to use the said linesman(one of the infamous kellow bruvs) had a brainwave to nip home and return with something yellow in which to run the line. 5mins later he returns carrying a yellow teletubbie which was acceptable to the ref . He then proceeded to run the line for the full game waving a childrens toy in the air everytime there was an offside! made me laugh anyway

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Gosh there have been so many, too many to count. But my fav must have to have been 2 seasons (ish) ago when Gareth May (Pieman) used to play for Pz reserves. He had run the ball in and on the way to the opsing goal he fell over, while on his side he kicked the ball and in the confusion and laugher of the crowd and player, he slightly tapped the ball and it rolled straight past the goalie and we scored. The ref allowed the goal but that was the funniest thing i've seen as the goalie was really annoyed with it being allowed.

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Barripper Vs Hayle, Mining 1980-something Colin Quinn was playing for Hayle. I think Butchy and Jimmy Stewart were playing for Barripper. It was quite an important game but I can't remember why. (It's an age thing.)

It was raining. There was snow mixed in (Technical term "Sleet"). The air temperature must have been just above freezing.

The first laugh; Referee " Sorry lads, I've inspected the pitch and it's perfectly playable." Oh, did we laugh!

The wind was almost "divot strength". (For those who don't know, that means that you have to put a lump of earth behind the ball at free kicks to stop it blowing away.- except that day it just floated on the puddles)

The rain got worse.

Nobody had invented the idea of wearing a bin liner to keep warm.

We played.

It was dreadful. the ball got stuck in the puddles. Shirts were plastered to bodies. Hair plastered to heads.

The sleet just kept coming down.

Nobody looked like scoring. Jimmy Stewart's boy Drew (about 15 then.) went off cause he couldn't stand the cold.

Then the next laugh. With two minutes to go, one of the Hayle side actually got a cross off the ground.(he must have been strong as an Ox!) Colin Quinn jumped. I couldn't get off the ground, too cold and knackered. Our goalkeeper stood there shivering as it looped gently into the goal, plopping into the mud just over the line. :clapper: We did laugh - as you can imagine.

Then the big joke.

At the final whistle, we all ran off to the changing rooms. (There were no showers but it was at least dry and there were dry clothes there.)

NOBODY REMEMBERED WHERE THE KEY WAS!!

Did we laugh? I think there were players rolling on the floor with laughter. (I may be wrong about that as it was quite wet.)

I reckon it took 20 minutes to find the key.

I remember riding home on my motor bike. I had lost colour vision! Think that was the early symptoms of hyperthermia. :thumbsup: :clapper:

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Guest calcox

one of the refs in the old west penwith league(don t know is name) used to have a note book that was red, i was 14 playing my 1st game he called me over pulled out this note book and i just walked. i was told it was very funny.

the funniest thing i saw was playing for pendeen against my local team st just, alex johnson hit the goal of his life(also playing for pendeen) it hit the stantion, scott may in goal, and came flying out, wormy was ref and didn t give the goal,(shock). alex fell to knees in disbelive, then wormy sent off jamie sweeny and paul angove for protesting.

we lost 2.1 but that would ve put us 2.0 up, so not that funny as we lost.

coopsie that was up gulval when i started walking up the old pitch badgers cross

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Guest Robbie

When Les & myself were running Truro, the Wadebrige physio came into our technical area & started to coach his team. We told him to go back across the other side of the pitch to his own area. He ignored our warnings & carried on, Les picked up his bag & threw it over the hedge! He was almost in tears, screaming "Ref Ref, he's thrown my bag away!" We were in tears laughing!! :clapper:

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Guest Luffy

oi John!! quit it!!

I remember running into you down at Praze, when we were both in centre midfield, it was like Jan Molby and Ronnie Whelan!!

Luffy was funny at Truro one game!!

Daz,

Don't quite get the funny at Truro one game!!! although my memory isn't as it used to be although I do remember playing for TMS one sunday and the forward scuffed the ball across the goal and I decided that it was going wide then watched in horror as it rolled into the bottom corner of the goal fortunate we were 4 - 0 up at the time.

And in regards to John if we mention every funny thing that he done while playing this string would go on forever.

Just got to ask you one question though did you ever get that worm that used to trip you up when we played together?

All the best

Luffy

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When Les & myself were running Truro, the Wadebrige physio came into our technical area & started to coach his team.

"Technical area" ? What's one of they?

Should we have one at Nancegollan? "Technical" & "Nancegollan" don't sit comfortable together. Perhaps that's way we haven't got one.

Can we get a Football Foundation Grant to build one? What if it gets stolen?

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Guest Jim

Oldasitgets, thats just reminded me one my dad told me about years ago about Nancegollan. He told me there was a bloke that used to support them by shouting "come on Nancy's" every week. He told me they used to kick lumps out of you every game, so it was quite ironic!

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Guest Jim

One funnier still, playing against either pool or castle, (can't remember which, but the same group of players I think) the ball went out of play for a throw in. Two players sprinted off the pitch incredibly quickly, we thought, blimey their keen to take the throw in. It wasn't until we looked over to see two policemen running across the pitch that we realised why!

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I think the funniest thing I've seen recently was 05/06 season, we were all watching Carharrack vs Cury, when 6 Riots Vans and loads of police cars come hurtling up the car park to the pitch, at this point I know everyone was thinking "Shit, Ive been found out!", one lad even started running away.

Next think Armed police start running about the place and a PC ran over to the ref, the copper then told everyone to quickly get their belongings from the chaning rooms and get home becuase there was a Armed man in the woods next to the pitch and shots have been heard.

With a helicopter circling above us evryone made a dash to their cars and got up the sports club for a pint.

They arrested a man found with a air rifle and shotgun with ammo.

Cury Football Club's Falmouth-Helston League Division III game ended abruptly on Saturday when police armed response units closed off an area around the pitch after reports of a man carrying guns were received.

Camborne police received a call at around 2.15pm concerning a domestic incident at an address in Carharrack but before they arrived a 57-year-old man left the address taking with him what was believed at the time to be two rifles.

After setting up road blocks in the village, police asked members of the public at the football match between Carharrack and Cury, at the Howard Beauchamp Recreation Ground, to abandon the game as the man was believed to be in that area.

Sergeant Michael Friday of Camborne police said: "Obviously in circumstances involving firearms we have to be very careful. We cleared and contained the area for the safety of members of the public. We asked the people at the recreation ground to leave and they agreed."

Carharrack football club secretary Crystal Moyle said: "Two police officers came over to the pitch and asked if we could stop the game. We had no idea what was going on.

"They told us to leave the pitch as quickly as possible and make our way home, but they said we could not go into Carharrack as they had blocked the road.

"Fortunately we were only 20 minutes into the game and it was 0-0. We will be making arrangements for the game to be replayed."

Armed response units and local police gathered at the scene and searched the surrounding area. Police were also told the man may be intending to self-harm.

After searching for around an hour the man was found close to the address where the original domestic incident had been reported, at around 3.30pm.

He was discovered with an air rifle and a shotgun and ammunition was seized immediately before he was taken into custody under the provisions of the mental health act.

He was taken to Camborne custody centre and after seeing a doctor, he was released without charge at 6.30pm.

Sergeant Friday added: "Fortunately no one was hurt during the incident and no shots were discharged. The man was taken to the custody centre for his own safety.

"He was not charged and was seen by a doctor who deemed him fit to be released."

Archive Home

Only in Cornwall

Rich

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RAY BROWN TOLD ME THIS ONE;

HE WAS AT BOSCASTLE ONE YEAR AND THEY PLAYED IN AN AWFUL MANNER RESULTING IN MANY NAMES BEING WRITTEN IN RAY'S BOOK INCLUDING A FEW RED CARDS BEING SHOWN.

THE FOLLOWING WEEK RAY HAD TO VISIT BOSCASTLE AGAIN AND THEY BEHAVED THEMSELVES VERY WELL THIS TIME. THEY FIELDED THE EXACT SAME TEAM AS THEY HAD DONE THE PREVIOUS WEEK WITH ONE EXCEPTION, A REALLY BIG FELLA WHO PLAYED UP FRONT ALL BY HIMSELF.

FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER THE REFEREE WAS INVITED BACK TO THE COBWEB INN FOR A PINT AFTER THE MATCH (I'VE BEEN INVITED MANY TIMES SINCE !), WHERE THE BIG FELLA UP FRONT CAME UP AND SHOOK RAY'S HAND; "YOU HAD AN EXCELLENT GAME, REF. VERY PROFESSIONAL AND VERY FAIR."

"WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH." RAY REPLIED.

"TIS GOOD TO SEE GOOD QUALITY REFEREES HERE IN BOSCASTLE," THE BIG FELLA ADDED, "BETTER THAN THE ******* USELESS P**** WE HAD HERE LAST WEEK !!"

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Does this happen a lot to big central defenders?

Up on Wendron top pitch, our keeper decided, thoughtfully, to welly the ball as hard as he could up the field.

I knew nothing. Just found myself on the floor.

Apparently he'd kicked the ball and hit me on the back of the head from about three yards away.

Sadly I didn't score (That would have ended the game and required air ambulance to pick up the helpless players.)

As it was, not one of the buggers came to my aid - from either side. They were all laughing so much that they were on the floor in tears, or just helpless.

I suppose it's my fault for being so tall. At nearly 5' 6", I must be pretty hard to miss.

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Chacewater in the Bennetts days, Barriper had a tactic that, for once, worked. I think its the only tactic I've ever been involved in.

At our corner, just before it was kicked, all our side ran away from the goal to clear the penalty area. Chacewater defence stood in amazement in the penalty area. Just before the kick came, a bright defender on the line called. "Quick! everybody out, hold them out there, use the offside!" To a man they all ran out.

They met the Barriper forwards coming back in to meet the ball from the corner.

Goalkeeper Bennetts just stood there and shrugged as five unopposed forwards queued up to put the ball in the goal.

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I did try mind games with my side. Mental preparation. Psychology.

I think it was Barripper against St Ives Dodgems. (Change in an old van back on the road up towards Halsetown). We expected to win easily. Dave Cooper, Butch Bousefield were playing, I remember

I sat the players down in the van and put a ball in the middle. I spoke softly and told them to imagine all these amazing things that they were going to do (Visualisation is the technical term)

They thought of the best pass, the best shot,the best tackle, they'd ever made. Visualise doing it in the game that was about to start.

Go!

We all ran out.

3-0 down in 4 minutes!

I rekcon I'd hypnotised the buggers. They were on a different planet.

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